Norman Coburn: Donald Fisher

Quotes 

• Mrs. Simmonds : [Don enters the Charity shop]  Hello?

  [sees Don] 

  Mrs. Simmonds : Aren't you the Gentleman who...

  Don : I'd like to make you a proposition.

  Mrs. Simmonds : [skeptical]  Would you now...

  Don : [Empties out bag of clothes on the counter]  All these clothes for the suit; a clean swap.

  Mrs. Simmonds : Suit?

  Don : *My* suit.

  Mrs. Simmonds : Ah, yes.

  [surveys goods] 

  Mrs. Simmonds : There *are* quite a few clothes here.

  Don : All I want is the suit.

  Mrs. Simmonds : Done!

  [takes suit off Rail] 

  Mrs. Simmonds : Here you are, Dear. And I hope it keeps you nice and warm.

  Don : Thank you. I *do* appreciate your concern but I would be grateful if you wouldn't call me *"dear"*.I find it *patronising* and offensive!

  Mrs. Simmonds : I was only trying...

  Don : In fact, your attitude in general has been overbearing and pompous.And quite inapprorpiate for someone entrusted with the managment of a charitable institution such as this!

  Mrs. Simmonds : How *dare* you!

  Don : It has been an *ordeal* doing business with you, and I sincerely hope I never have to do it again! Good day.

  [Mrs Simmonds gasps in shock as Don leaves] 

• Don : [Don returns to the shop to retrieve Alf's trousers]  Remember me?

  Mrs. Simmonds : If I'm not mistaken, you're the gentleman who told me I was pompous and overbearing and unfit to run an establishment "such as this".

  Don : Oh dear?

  [chuckles] 

  Don : Did I really say that? It could only have been in the heat of the moment.

  Mrs. Simmonds : This shop is *closed*

  [goes to shut door] 

  Don : Um, I have a problem, you see I was wondering if you might help me... Among the pile of clothes I gave you this morning, there was a pair of trousers.

  Mrs. Simmonds : There were *several* pairs of trousers

  Don : But these are rather special and it's important that I get them back.

  Mrs. Simmonds : Really?

  Don : Yes, um, *vitally* important.

  Mrs. Simmonds : In your line of work- Headmaster, I don't suppose you ever have to, how should I put it? Make *deeply* earnest requests?

  Don : You mean grovel?

  Mrs. Simmonds : Yes.

  Don : No I don't, but I'm always willing to learn.

  Mrs. Simmonds : [smile creeping across her face]  Splendid.

  [Don frowns]