Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)
Birthdates (2010)
Betty White: Elka Ostrovsky
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Victoria Chase : [a police siren is heard approaching] Huh. Wonder what that's about.
Elka Ostrovsky : [entering] I'm not here.
Joy Scroggs : Wait. The police are looking for you?
Elka Ostrovsky : [the siren fades into the distance] What police?
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Melanie Moretti : Hey, guys, guess what? It's our birthday in two weeks!
Joy Scroggs : You're kidding.
Elka Ostrovsky : You all have birthdays on the same day?
Victoria Chase : No no no, but we decided that, seeing as birthdays are so generally unpleasant...
Melanie Moretti : Depressing, scary...
Joy Scroggs : Drunk and hazy...
Victoria Chase : We decided that we'd just celebrate ours all together on a neutral day. And that way, we don't have to acknowledge the day that we actually get older.
Joy Scroggs : It works great; I really don't know how old I am.
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Elka Ostrovsky : I'm a little nervous. Or maybe it's just staring at that rat's nest that Joy calls a hairdo. It's so unsettling.
Joy Scroggs : Your nerves are making you unpleasant.
Elka Ostrovsky : Yes, but I can fix that by finishing this wine. You're still stuck with that hair.
Joy Scroggs : That's not your joke, Elka; that's Winston Churchill's.
Elka Ostrovsky : It's not stealing if you were there.
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Elka Ostrovsky : The truth is I'm a great driver, but sometimes I like to drive *real* slow, just to mess with people.
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[last lines]
Melanie Moretti : So, Elka, when are you going to make it official?
Elka Ostrovsky : Oh, that's over. We started having problems.
Melanie Moretti : What happened?
Elka Ostrovsky : Well, we got along fine but... he wouldn't go downtown. If you know what I mean.
[the three girls are stunned]
Elka Ostrovsky : What! I mean there are so many good restaurants and, and shops downtown.
[the three laugh, relieved]
Elka Ostrovsky : I can't give that up!
Victoria Chase : Why should you?
Elka Ostrovsky : [going to answer the door] What did you think I was talking about?
Joy Scroggs : So you meant shops.
Melanie Moretti : Nothing, nothing at all.
Carl : Hi.
Elka Ostrovsky : M-Max.
Elka Ostrovsky : Listen, Elka, I don't want to lose you, so if you're still up for it, I'm willing to try going downtown.
Elka Ostrovsky : You are?
Carl : Yes. Just hope I don't get lost down there.
Elka Ostrovsky : Oh, you won't. I have no trouble telling you where to go.
Carl : It's just that it's so dark and scary there.
Melanie Moretti : Happy birthday.
Joy Scroggs : Happy birthday.
Victoria Chase : Happy birthday.
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Carl : Another question. Favorite medication?
Elka Ostrovsky : Oh, that's a tough one. Oh, all things considered, I think I'm going to have to say Celebrex.
Carl : Celebrex, nice. I'm an Allopurinol man, myself.
Elka Ostrovsky : Ooo, gout. Somebody likes to party.