- Sookie Stackhouse: Call me crazy, but I'm willing to die if it means keeping an entire group of people I know and love from being eradicated in the name of hate.
- Jason Stackhouse: You serious? You would eat a pile of dead vampire Beulah Carter? Off the ground?
- Andy Bellefleur: Mmm.
- Jason Stackhouse: You are one sad, sorry freak, bubba. Get a fucking grip!
- Andy Bellefleur: Jesus, tits, and God America, Jason. What the fuck is happening to me? I'm only good on the V, dude. It's the only time I ever feel like I'm not watching myself not living up to people's expectations, and hating those people for having expectations, and thinking about hitting them in the head with a bat.
- Jason Stackhouse: [Nods distractedly] ... Uh, sorry, man. I stopped listening about halfway through.
- Maxine Fortenberry: [as Tommy] I'll have two Miller tall boys, with two shots of tequila and some hot sauce.
- Arlene Fowler: Really?
- Maxine Fortenberry: And some crawfish fritters with ranch dressing. And also, some of that private stash of succotash that Sam keeps hidden for himself, 'cause he's selfish.
- Jason Stackhouse: God. You are so fucking hot when you got blood all over you.
- Jessica Hamby: Stop it.
- Jason Stackhouse: I want you to bite me and fuck me at the same time. Right here.
- Jessica Hamby: Okay.
- [her fangs pop out]
- Jason Stackhouse: Come to daddy.
- Thea Andrews: So, no one in the neighborhood knew she was a vampire.
- Maxine Fortenberry: I must say I did wonder about her. She kept to herself, like a vampire would. Or a serial killer.