The Tourettes Guy (2004– )
Tony Six: Danny, The Tourettes Guy
Photos
Quotes
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Stranded man : [as Danny leaves the bar at 1:00am] Excuse me, sir, do you know if Jiffy Lube is open?
Danny : Huh?
Stranded man : It's Sunday. Do you know if they're open or not?
Danny : Does this look like the ass of someone who would know if Jiffy Lube's open on Sundays?
[moons the man]
Stranded man : Oh, hell no!
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Danny : [Danny looks out the window while talking on the phone] HOLY SHIT! I gotta go! Some squirrel's fucking my tomatoes!
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Danny : [Danny is scheduled for an appointment with Dr. Rhodes] Remember that fat wrestler from the 1980's named Dusty Rhodes? Man, he was a piece of shit!
[Cameraman falls down laughing]
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Danny's Dad : You change your damn glasses more than you change your damn shirt! Why don't you try wearing a different shirt for once in your life?
Danny : Why don't you just fuck off?
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Danny : [Danny's ice cream cone is melting] This is the second time I've been fucked by Dairy Queen!
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[repeated line]
Danny : Suck my dick! Or cock!
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Danny's Dad : [after falling down] Oh, fuck! Goddamn!
Danny : Are you okay, dad?
Danny's Dad : Hell no, I'm not okay, I'm an old man and I fell on my ass!
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Danny : [His Son tosses a roll of paper towels to him which accidentally hits him in the groin] Motherfucker, You hit Me in the dick, you're lucky it wasn't hard!... I meant this thing, not My dick!