How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Big Days (2010)
Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson
Photos
Quotes
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Barney Stinson : Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge open you up, take a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all down hill from here.
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Barney Stinson : Dude you are so in, a high five doesn't cut it. High Six!
Ted Mosby : She didn't see us High Six did she?
Robin Scherbatsky : No.
Barney Stinson : Good. That was pretty lame.
Ted Mosby : Yeah, let's never do that again.
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Ted Mosby : [Barney has just called dibs on a hot girl Ted asked him to make a short glance at. Ted is not amused] You can't call dibs on a girl that I've been sitting here thinking about eventually talking to at some point!
Barney Stinson : You never called dibs.
Ted Mosby : Dibs were implied!
Barney Stinson : "Implied" dibs?
Ted Mosby : Yeah!
Barney Stinson : Ted, you are spitting on the grave of Sir Walter Dibs, inventor of the dib. It was 1652, the SS Dibs was lost at sea...
Ted Mosby : [Ted interrupts him] I don't have time for a fake history lesson, so I'll keep this simple: You go over there and talk to that girl, I'll see you in court.
Barney Stinson : Who's gonna represent you? Dibs-on-Marshall's-my-lawyer!
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Barney Stinson : Oh yeah? Be my guest. Fall in love with her, get married. Just know this, when I step up to make my toast as your best man?
Ted Mosby : Actually Marshall will probably be my...
Barney Stinson : [Cutting him off] AS YOUR BEST MAN!
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Lily Aldrin : Barney, am I crazy? Marshall talks to his Dad way too much, right?
Barney Stinson : You don't want my opinion on that.
Lily Aldrin : Why not?
Barney Stinson : If I had my Dad's number, I would never not be on the phone with him.
Lily Aldrin : Wow, Barney, that was really...
Barney Stinson : [Girl walks by] Whoa, hottie with a body!
Lily Aldrin : ...brief.
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Barney Stinson : It's a sad day in New York, Ted, a sad day indeed. You know what I saw on my way in here? A girl in a sweater. And you know what that means: the season of exposed skin is over, exactly! Gone are the tank-tops, Ted. Gone are the cute little skirts. Gone are the sundresses - the sundresses, Ted! I don't think I can make it another eight months with no sundresses.
Ted Mosby : Barney, I really - I have to grade these papers
Barney Stinson : I'm sorry, I'll let you work... But first, a riddle. What piece of women's attire, most stokes a man's desire?
Ted Mosby : A sundress.
Barney Stinson : Correct! What light weight outfit, pink or white, makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?
Ted Mosby : I really have to get this done.
Barney Stinson : Of course, of course. Sundress, by the way.
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Ted Mosby : [about a girl at the bar] She's got her shields up anyway; she's reading a book.
Barney Stinson : Yeah! At a bar! The book might as well be called Are Ya There Barney? It's Me Horny. That is not what "shields up" looks like.
[Enter Robin disheveled]
Barney Stinson : THAT is what "shields up" looks like.