iCarly (TV Series)
iSam's Mom (2010)
Jennette McCurdy: Sam Puckett
Quotes
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Pam Puckett : Hey, Sam, remember when you were seven and I told you that Fluffles ran away?
Sam Puckett : Yeah?
Pam Puckett : I sold him.
Sam Puckett : Oh, my God. You sold my bunny?
Pam Puckett : To foreigners.
Sam Puckett : [gasps] Yeah, well, you wanna know why that rich doctor stopped calling you?
Pam Puckett : Steven?
Sam Puckett : I told him you got hit by a bus.
[Pam gasps]
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Carly Shay : [to Sam] Can you tell me why I found this half-eaten tamale in my bed?
Sam Puckett : 'Cause I left it there. Give me it.
Carly Shay : My bed is a place for me to sleep, not a place for your Mexican fiesta platters.
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Spencer Shay : [while going through the DVR] Hey, no, no, no, no. Why isn't "Celebrities Underwater" on my DVR?
Sam Puckett : I deleted it.
Spencer Shay : Why would you do that?
Sam Puckett : I don't like the playlist menu cluttered up with a bunch of shows I'm not into.
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Sam Puckett : Carly, you got my mother...
Carly Shay : You guys have to make up.
Sam Puckett : I don't want any part of her.
Pam Puckett : You don't deserve my parts.
Sam Puckett : Why would I want worn out parts?
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Pam Puckett : [to Sam] Just take a good look at your future, baby, 'cause this is where you're headed.
Sam Puckett : My future is gonna be just fine.
Pam Puckett : Who told you that, your parole officer?
Sam Puckett : At least I call my parole officer.
Pam Puckett : Why don't you take a bath?
Sam Puckett : 'Cause you didn't pay the water bill.
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Pam Puckett : [to the psychologist] You married?
Dr. Parper : Excuse me?
Pam Puckett : I don't see a ring. You got a woman or what?
Sam Puckett : Pardon my mommy's desperation.
Pam Puckett : Pardon my daughter's personality.
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Dr. Parper : [to Sam and Pam] Now, I'd like to try something new.
Sam Puckett : You're gonna join a gym?
Dr. Parper : No, Sam. You two need to spend some time in the therapy box.
Pam Puckett : What's that, like a tanning thing?
Dr. Parper : No, Pam. It's a new kind of therapy that's a bit unorthodox.
Sam Puckett : Ahh, that's cool. We're not Jewish.
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Pam Puckett : [to Sam] Why can't you be more like Melanie?
Sam Puckett : Well, quit comparing me to Melanie.
Pam Puckett : You threw up in my car.
Sam Puckett : I was six years old. Get over it.
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Carly Shay : Okay. We've all done things that we're not proud of, like selling a child's pet or ruining the chances of a mother finding true love, but if we just try to look at the positive side of this...
Sam Puckett : You know, she's never even said one nice thing to me about "iCarly"?
Carly Shay : Come on. I'm sure that's not true.
Pam Puckett : What's "iCarly"?
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Sam Puckett : [to Pam] I love you.
[pauses]
Sam Puckett : Mother.
Pam Puckett : What, you think I don't love you?
Sam Puckett : You never say it.
Pam Puckett : Well, it's not easy to say "I love you" to a daughter who thinks I'm, you know, scummy.
Sam Puckett : I don't think you're scummy... all the time.
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Sam Puckett : [to Pam] Can I come home?
Pam Puckett : Aw. Hug me, you little turd.
[she and Sam hug each other]
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Carly Shay : [to Sam] Look, if you wanna keep staying here, then no more eating ethnic food in my bed.
Spencer Shay : Yeah. And no deleting my wet celebrities.
Carly Shay : And no more panties on the stairs.
Sam Puckett : I don't like that word.
Spencer Shay : Well, too bad. Stairs! Stairs! Stairs!
Carly Shay : She meant panties.
Spencer Shay : Now, I'm embarrassed.