House M.D. (TV Series)
Recession Proof (2011)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Photos
Quotes
-
Dr. Gregory House : I've made a decision... Being happy and being in love with you... makes me a crappy doctor.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Shut up! You're too drunk to end this relationship.
Dr. Gregory House : I am drunk, and I am also right. You have made me a worse doctor, and people are going to die because of that... and you... are *totally* worth it. If I had to choose between... between saving everyone or loving you, being happy. I choose you. I choose being happy with you. I will always choose you.
-
Dr. Gregory House : My head is on your vagina.
-
Dr. James Wilson : You never do anything unless it stands to benefit you...
Dr. Gregory House : I realize that three failed marriages can leave a man twisted and bitter inside, but in a good relationship, sometimes people do things for each other.
Dr. James Wilson : A hundred says you don't show up.
Dr. Gregory House : You're giving me incentive to actually show up? A personal selfish incentive?
Dr. James Wilson : I'm just making easy money. 200.
Dr. Gregory House : ...How high did Cuddy authorize you to go?
Dr. James Wilson : Heh. She - she - three. She really wants you there.
Dr. Gregory House : Why do people believe I'm incapable of doing something nice?
Dr. James Wilson : Experience.
-
Dr. Gregory House : All of them are gone, Wilson. They're all dead, because I'm screwed up.
Dr. James Wilson : You lost one patient, and it wasn't your fault.
Dr. Gregory House : What about that mom who gave her baby cancer? If I'd figured that one out quicker, she'd still be a mom, alive.
Dr. James Wilson : She refused treatment when it was offered. How is that your fault?
Dr. Gregory House : Then there was that guy I spent a day trapped in isolation with. I was 5 feet away the whole time. Just watched him die, like an idiot.
Dr. James Wilson : Yeah. You've lost patients before, and you'll lose patients again.
Dr. Gregory House : Exactly. Why?... Because love and happiness are nothing but distractions.
-
Dr. Gregory House : I RSVP'd two days ago. What? Do you think I'm a complete ass?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [Cuddy walks away. Then stops and turns around] If you were already going why did you - ?
Dr. Gregory House : Foreplay.
-
Dr. Robert Chase : File says he's a Real Estate Developer. Could've been exposed to something visiting a construction site.
Martha Masters : He's lying.
[Everyone stares at Masters]
Martha Masters : He's not an executive. I saw his hands. There covered with calluses and cuts. He works with them - a lot.
Dr. Gregory House : Stand up.
[Masters slowly rises. House hugs her]
Martha Masters : Oh.
Dr. Gregory House : Our little girl is finally growing up. I mean you dream of this day, and when it finally happens... So what did Mr. Meathook say when you called him a liar?
Martha Masters : I didn't.
Dr. Gregory House : Baby steps. Go down there and do it.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Cuddy is getting an award. I think we should all be there. Show our support.
Dr. Eric Foreman : I assume you're planning on screwing it up, so you want to maximize witnesses.
Dr. Gregory House : Why does everyone go there?
Dr. Eric Foreman : Experience.
Dr. Gregory House : Shut up!... How about go or work at the Clinic all weekend? I hear it's "Genital Herpes Awareness" month.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [Have a meeting in the bathroom while Foreman and Taub are doing their business] Swollen joints, high white count, fever, conjunctivitis. Anyone?
Dr. Eric Foreman , Dr. Chris Taub : Seriously?
Dr. Gregory House : What? You can't think and poop at the same time? There's a life at stake here.
-
Dr. James Wilson : You okay?
Dr. Gregory House : Why wouldn't I be? Solved my case.
Dr. James Wilson : But your patient died.
Dr. Gregory House : I didn't say in time. It happens. Can't save everyone.
-
Dr. Gregory House : The only thing my relationship with Cuddy does for me is make me a worse doctor.
Dr. James Wilson : [Chuckling] Right. The great Doctor House doesn't deserve to be happy. You know it's not true.
Dr. Gregory House : My happiness is being paid for with other people's lives.
-
Dr. Chris Taub : We found Vicodin in his office.
Dr. Gregory House : Give it to me... Might look like Vicodin, might be something else.
[Slight pause, then Foreman tosses the bottle to House. House examines a pill]
Dr. Gregory House : It's real. Unfortuneately... Because Vicodin doesn't cause rash, fever and joint pain. Does make Taub considerably less annoying.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [about the Charity Gala] I want to make this more exciting. Something she'll remember for more than 10 minutes.
Dr. James Wilson : Okay. By fun and exciting you mean, screwing things up for Cuddy. So she won't even *dream* of asking you to go to one again.
Dr. Gregory House : You really can't stand to me happy, can you?
-
Dr. James Wilson : [House has a mariachi band in his office] What are you doing?
Dr. Gregory House : What does it look like I'm doing? Auditioning the band for Friday night.
Dr. James Wilson : So you're trying to ruin Cuddy's moment in the spotlight?
Dr. Gregory House : Ruin? These guys recorded with Juan Gabriel. They're gonna cost me two grand. This isn't a prank. These guys are the beginning of Cuddy's evening to remember which in turn will make my evening...
Dr. James Wilson : I think if you do this, your evening will end with you alone in your apartment with a sock.