Elevator (V) (2012)

Joey Slotnick: George Axelrod

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Axelrod : When did we started asking terrorists for protection?

  Mohammed : I'm the security guard.

  George Axelrod : Yeah. That's what they all say. Hey, Bin Laden, I'm joking. Terrorists have no sense of humor.

• George Axelrod : She just pressed the stop button.

  Madeline Barton : It was an accident, grandpa.

  Henry Barton : It was an accident. Say you're sorry, Madeline.

  Madeline Barton : Sorry.

  George Axelrod : She did it on purpose. She looked right at me then she pressed it.

  Madeline Barton : You're lying!

  George Axelrod : I saw you!

  Madeline Barton : Liar!

  George Axelrod : Evil little bitch! I know what I saw.

  Henry Barton : Mr. Axelrod, you're fired.

  George Axelrod : Fine, I don't give a fuck. Just get me out of here. Let me take the stairs.

• George Axelrod : Fuck, fuck, fuck. I knew it.

  Mohammed : Please watch your language. There are women and children in here.

  George Axelrod : My language? Do you hear that, he's worried about my language. We're hanging here squeezed like fucking sardines 50 floors up and my language is the problem? I bet language wasn't the problem when you were blowing people up.

• Madeline Barton : It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.

  George Axelrod : It's kinda like a rollercoaster, right? I don't like rollercoasters, either. You're gonna be ok. I saw you push the buttons, by the way. Must run in the family.

• George Axelrod : It could be worse.

  Madeline Barton : How?

  George Axelrod : You ever play the Comedy Cellar?

  Madeline Barton : Are you retarded? Do you think this is a joke? Look around you, do you think this is funny? There's a... there's a bomb in here that might kill us any second and end my baby's life, and I don't know what you think is so fucking funny. We're not your audience.

  George Axelrod : Hey, this is what I do. Some people cry, some people get angry. I tell jokes. I talk too much, and to be honest, yes, I annoy myself, but does that make any difference to the bomb? No. I apologize if I'm not the guy you want to get stuck with. I didn't want this gig anyway, I was a last minute substitution. You know those stories about people who almost get on a plane that crashed? I'm the guy that takes their place. There. If the bomb goes off now, I'm happy with those being my last words.