- [last lines]
- Martin Gossling: [composing himself on now being trapped with a bomb] Well... I guess... I'm the hero
- George Axelrod: When did we started asking terrorists for protection?
- Mohammed: I'm the security guard.
- George Axelrod: Yeah. That's what they all say. Hey, Bin Laden, I'm joking. Terrorists have no sense of humor.
- George Axelrod: She just pressed the stop button.
- Madeline Barton: It was an accident, grandpa.
- Henry Barton: It was an accident. Say you're sorry, Madeline.
- Madeline Barton: Sorry.
- George Axelrod: She did it on purpose. She looked right at me then she pressed it.
- Madeline Barton: You're lying!
- George Axelrod: I saw you!
- Madeline Barton: Liar!
- George Axelrod: Evil little bitch! I know what I saw.
- Henry Barton: Mr. Axelrod, you're fired.
- George Axelrod: Fine, I don't give a fuck. Just get me out of here. Let me take the stairs.
- George Axelrod: Fuck, fuck, fuck. I knew it.
- Mohammed: Please watch your language. There are women and children in here.
- George Axelrod: My language? Do you hear that, he's worried about my language. We're hanging here squeezed like fucking sardines 50 floors up and my language is the problem? I bet language wasn't the problem when you were blowing people up.
- Madeline Barton: It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.
- George Axelrod: It's kinda like a rollercoaster, right? I don't like rollercoasters, either. You're gonna be ok. I saw you push the buttons, by the way. Must run in the family.
- George Axelrod: It could be worse.
- Madeline Barton: How?
- George Axelrod: You ever play the Comedy Cellar?
- Madeline Barton: Are you retarded? Do you think this is a joke? Look around you, do you think this is funny? There's a... there's a bomb in here that might kill us any second and end my baby's life, and I don't know what you think is so fucking funny. We're not your audience.
- George Axelrod: Hey, this is what I do. Some people cry, some people get angry. I tell jokes. I talk too much, and to be honest, yes, I annoy myself, but does that make any difference to the bomb? No. I apologize if I'm not the guy you want to get stuck with. I didn't want this gig anyway, I was a last minute substitution. You know those stories about people who almost get on a plane that crashed? I'm the guy that takes their place. There. If the bomb goes off now, I'm happy with those being my last words.