- George St. Cloud: [to Jim] Would you take it easy? You might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says "Me and my family went to South America and all we got were these lousy superpowers."
- Stephanie Powell: I thought we were a team.
- Katie Andrews: Of course you do - team Stephanie! But even though there's no "I" in team, there's a big "I" in Stephanie. And there's a "PH," which we both know in chemistry, is a measure of acidity.
- Jim Powell: Aren't you supposed to be getting some sort of award or something?
- George St. Cloud: What, the key to the city? Now what would I do with some key that don't open nothing?
- J.J. Powell: I thought having these powers was cool, 'cause I was finally good at stuff, but the problem is I'm REALLY good at stuff.
- Daphne Powell: [sarcastically] Wow. Sounds awful.
- Dr. Dayton King: Francis, you're delusional.
- Dr. Francis Chiles: While I appreciate your diagnosis, I think I'll seek out a second opinion...
- Katie Andrews: Do you know the odds of meeting a single, down-to-earth, heterosexual male with impeccable fingernails? I mean, it's technically rhetorical.
- Jim Powell: So, instead of stopping one crime, you wanna get an award for not stopping another one. That's good work, hero.
- Jim Powell: There's no rule that says sidekicks have to last forever. I mean, Batman could have traded in Robin for some other guy.
- Katie Andrews: I have not felt this way about a guy since Comic-Con '06, when I fell for the cutest metrosexual wookiee.
- George St. Cloud: You ever read that issue of "Superman" where Superman's chasin' around those jaywalkers?
- Jim Powell: No.
- George St. Cloud: Neither have I, because superheroes have better things to do.