Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
Raymond S. Persi: Gene, Zombie
Photos
Quotes
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Clyde : Question, Ralph. We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now, and tonight you finally show up. Why is that?
Wreck-It Ralph : I dunno, I just felt like coming. I mean, I suppose it has something to do with the fact that uh... well, today's the 30th anniversary of my game.
Saitine : Happy anniversary, Ralph.
Wreck-It Ralph : Thanks Satan.
Saitine : Uh, it's "Saitine".
Wreck-It Ralph : Got it. But here's the thing... I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore.
[the Bad-Anon members gasp]
Cyborg : You can't mess with the program, Ralph!
M. Bison : You're not going Turbo, are you?
Wreck-It Ralph : Turbo? No, I'm not going Turbo! Common guys! Is it "Turbo" to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once and awhile? Is it "Turbo" to want more out of life?
Zombie : Yes.
Clyde : Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we can't change who we are. The sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be.
Zangief : Hey, one game at a time, Ralph.
Clyde : Now let's close out the with Bad Guy affirmation.
Clyde , Saitine , Cyborg , M. Bison , Zombie , Zangief , Bad-Anon Members : I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be then me.
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Wreck-It Ralph : Sometimes I think, man, it sure must be nice being the good guy.
[Bad-Anon members applaud]
Clyde : Nice share, Ralph. We've all felt what you're feeling and we've come to terms with it.
Wreck-It Ralph : Really?
Zangief : Right here. I'm Zangief, I'm bad guy.
Bad-Anon Members : Hi Zangief.
Zangief : I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit bottom, I was crushing man's skull like sparrow's egg, between my thighs... and I think, why you have to be so bad, Zangief? Why can't you be more like good guy? Then I have moment of clarity... if Zangief is good guy, who will crush man's skull like sparrow's eggs between thighs? And I say, Zangief you are bad guy, but this does not mean you are *bad* guy.
[Bad-Anon members agree]
Wreck-It Ralph : Right... I'm sorry, you lost me there.
Zombie : Zombie! Bad guy!
Wreck-It Ralph , Bad-Anon Members : Hi Zombie.
Zombie : Zangief saying labels not make you happy. Good, bad, nggghhhh... you must love you.
Cyborg : Yeah!
[Performs a Heart-rip Fatality on Zombie]
Cyborg : Inside here!
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Wreck-It Ralph : [enters the empty penthouse] Hello? Anybody home? Felix? Mary?
Gene : [pouring himself a martini at the bar] Well, you actually went and did it.
Wreck-It Ralph : Gene! Where is everybody?
Gene : They're gone. After Felix went looking for you and then didn't come back, everyone panicked and abandoned ship.
Wreck-It Ralph : But... but I'm here now.
Gene : It's too late, Ralph. Litwak's pulling our plug in the morning.
[he motions to the window; Ralph goes to the window and sees the "OUT OF ORDER" sign hung over the game console]
Wreck-It Ralph : Oh!
Gene : But never let it be said that I'm not a man of my word. The place is yours, Ralph. Enjoy.
[Gene tosses the penthouse key to Ralph, then heads for the door]
Wreck-It Ralph : Gene, wait! Wait! Listen, this is not what I wanted.
Gene : Well, what did you want, Ralph?
Wreck-It Ralph : I don't know, I just... I was just tired of living alone in the garbage.
Gene : Well, now you can live alone in the penthouse.
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Fix-It Felix : [after Ralph abandoned the game] Everyone calm down. Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again.
[a tram pulls up]
Fix-It Felix : See, here he is now.
[Q*Bert hops out]
Fix-It Felix : Why, it's Q*Bert! What brings you here, neighbor?
Q*Bert : $;&?@#
Gene : What's he saying, Felix?
Fix-It Felix : Stand by. My Q*Bert-ese is a little rusty.
[Felix and Q*Bert exchange rounds of Q*Bert-ese]
Fix-It Felix : Ralph's gone Turbo?
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Fix-It Felix : Why, it's Q*Bert! What brings you here, neighbour?
Q*Bert : [in Q*Berteze] I have some important news for you.
Gene : [in English] What's he saying, Felix?
Fix-It Felix : Stand by, my Q*Berteze is a little rusty.
[in Q*Berteze]
Fix-It Felix : What sort of news will you tell us, dear Q*Bert?
Q*Bert : It's about Wreck-it Ralph.
Fix-It Felix : Coming back from Tapper's?
Q*Bert : I don't think he'll come back any time soon.
Fix-It Felix : [gasps] What are you saying?
Q*Bert : Ralph's gone Turbo!
Fix-It Felix : [in English] Ralph's gone Turbo?
[everyone gasps]
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Fix-It Felix : Well, I'll be dipped. You've really outdone yourself, Mary.
Norwood : Oh, and look! There's all of us at the top.
Mary : Each apartment is everyone's favorite flavor. Norwood's is red velvet.
Norwood : Guilty!
Mary : And lemon for Lucy, rum cake for Gene, and for Felix...
[Ralph looks for his figurine, and finds himself in the mud, looking like some sort of deranged troll]
Wreck-It Ralph : [His face sinks] Hey, Mary. Um... What's the flavor of that mud that I'm stuck in there?
Mary : Hmm? Oh. Chocolate.
Wreck-It Ralph : I've never been real fond of chocolate.
Mary : Well, I did not know that.
Wreck-It Ralph : One other little thing. I hate to be picky, but this angry little guy here...
[Ralph picks up the little Ralph figurine. He puts him on the roof, smooshing the cake a little.]
Mary : [shocked] My cake!
Wreck-It Ralph : ...might be a lot happier if you put him up here with everyone else.
[Ralph pushes an ugly smile onto his figurine's face]
Wreck-It Ralph : See that? Look at that smile.
Gene : No, no, no. You see, Ralph, there's no room for you up here.
[Gene knocks Little Ralph back into the mud. Then Ralph chuckles]
Wreck-It Ralph : Well, what about this? We can make room. Here. We can take turns. Easy.
[Ralph puts Little Ralph back on top of the cake and slams Little Felix into the mud instead. The Nicelanders Gasped]
Fix-It Felix : How about we just eat the cake!
Gene : Hang on. Felix needs to be on the roof because he's about to get his medal!
Wreck-It Ralph : Well, then how about we just take that medal and give it to Ralph for once. Would that be the end of the world, Gene?
[Ralph rips the medal off, breaking the delicate fireworks, and puts it on little Ralph]
Gene : [suspiciously] Now you're just being ridiculous; only good guys win medals, and YOU sir are no good guy.
Wreck-It Ralph : [angrily] I could be a good guy if I wanted to, and I could win a medal.
Gene : Uh-huh. And when you do, come and talk to us.
[Gene takes Ralph off the cake]
Wreck-It Ralph : And then would you finally let me be on the top of the cake with you guys?
Gene : If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the PENTHOUSE! But it will never happen, because you're just the bad guy who wrecks the building.
[Gene took off Ralph's look and rips the medal off little Ralph, puts it on little Felix, and puts Felix back on the top]
Wreck-It Ralph : No, I'm not.
Gene : Yes, you are.
Wreck-It Ralph : No, I'm NOT!
[Ralph slams his fist down right on the cake. SMASH! Chunks of cake and frosting cover the Nicelanders. Pac-Man stops eating. His mouth falls open in shock]
Gene : Yes, you are.
Wreck-It Ralph : All right, Gene, you know what? I'm gonna win a medal. Oh I am gonna win a medal! The shiniest medal this place has ever seen. A medal so good that it will make Felix's medals wet their pants! And good night. Thank you for the party.
[Ralph exits, smashing a hole in the other side of the door]
Roy : Is he serious?
Gene : Oh please, where is a Bad Guy gonna win a medal? Of course he's not serious.
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[Litwak hangs an OUT OF ORDER sign on the screen. The Nicelanders run out of the building and watch in horror as the sign eclipses the arcade light]
Gene : Ladies and gentlemen, we're... out of order.
Mary : Sweet mercy! Without Ralph, we're doomed!
Roy : They're gonna pull our plug!
[Everyone panicked and Felix forced positivity to the Nicelanders]
Fix-It Felix : Okay, everybody, calm down. Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again.
[They heard a bell ringing in the distance]
Fix-It Felix : See? There he is now.