How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

False Positive (2010)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : [Ted has just smashed his gingerbread house because Marshall said that after the pregnancy false alarm, he and Lily want a dog] 

  [to Marshall and Lily] 

  Ted Mosby : Are you kidding me? All you ever talk about is having kids, and now you have one little freakout, you want to get a dog instead? No, unacceptable! You're gonna turn around, go home, get naked, lie together as man and wife until Lily is great with child! Right now.

  [couple still look at him] 

  Ted Mosby : I'M SERIOUS, GO GO GO!

  Robin Scherbatsky : [after seeing the two leave, murmuring to Robin]  Marshall and Lily got in trouble...

  Ted Mosby : And YOU! Barney, you look real stupid in that suit. You're gonna get your money back and give it to charity - and I don't mean that stripper you keep emailing us about even though we begged you to take us off that list.

  Barney Stinson : I can't give this suit back. Ted, I glow in the dark. I finally glow in the dark!

  Ted Mosby : [shouts]  Criminals of New York, attention! This man is wearing a diamond-covered suit, you could retire on the pants alone. Merry Christmas!

  [Barney runs away and Ted confronts Robin] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : So if I get a large popcorn, would you go split-ski...

  Ted Mosby : [Interupting]  And you, you did not move into the greatest city on Earth to become a coin-flipping bimbo.

  [takes out coin] 

  Ted Mosby : So, here's how it goes - Heads, you take the job at Worldwide News. Tails, you take the job at Worldwide News.

  [flips coin into Robin's face] 

  Ted Mosby : Hey, looks like somebody got a new gig!

• Ted Mosby : Robin have you forgotten your new year's resolution?

  Robin Scherbatsky : I am never going to drink again...

  Ted Mosby : No before that.

  Robin Scherbatsky : I am going to finish this entire bottle tonight.

  Ted Mosby : No before that.

• Barney Stinson : A Yuletide riddle. What is my second favorite word that begins with B-O-N?

  Ted Mosby : Bon Jovi?

  Barney Stinson : What is my third favorite that begins with B-O-N? Buzzer... BONUS!

• Robin Scherbatsky : You know, that was pretty cool, what you did. When we all needed it, you got us back on the right path.

  Ted Mosby : It's what I do.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Ted, if I... if I ever get married, and you're not the guy I marry...

  Ted Mosby : Big mistake, but go on.

  Robin Scherbatsky : I could really use someone like you. You know, in case I freak out... when I freak out. You interested?

  Ted Mosby : Are you asking what I think you're asking?

  Robin Scherbatsky : Ted, will you be my best man?

  Ted Mosby : Scherbatsky, I'm gonna crush it.

  [fist bumps Robin] 

• Ted Mosby : You better check yourself before you Trebek yourself.