- Merc Lapidus: You're the head of comedy! Why isn't none of your shit funny?
- Myra Licht: Some of my shit's funny. No?
- Merc Lapidus: No!
- Merc Lapidus: [to all of the executives at a staff meeting] Can anyone come up with one goddamn show that we can put on in the fall?
- [Silence]
- Merc Lapidus: Oh, come on. Somebody have the balls to say something?
- [Pointing toward his crotch]
- Merc Lapidus: I only have one. I'm doing all the talking.
- [Andy raises his hand]
- Merc Lapidus: Yes. Good. Go.
- Andy Button: I kind of liked the talking dog show.
- Merc Lapidus: You're fired.
- Andy Button: [laughs awkwardly] Are, um... Are you being funny?