Young Person's Guide to History (TV Series)
Part 1 (2008)
Dana Snyder: Benjamin Franklin
Quotes
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Benjamin Franklin : [addressing Continental Congress] Gentlemen are we going to continue to let King George take away our rights like a bride on her honeymoon ?
Continental Congress Heckler : Franklin show me your tits!
Benjamin Franklin : Or are we finally going to say no and cross our legs?
Continental Congress Heckler : Hey Franklin do these words ring a bell? Suck It!
[throws cup at Benjamin Franklin]
Benjamin Franklin : I... hey... now I have a dinner to go to after this! Now that is completely uncalled for! You want to get up here and do this?
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Paul Revere : [Riding on a bicycle to give warning] The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming!
[sees station wagon driven by Thomas Jefferson heading for him]
Paul Revere : No!
[station wagon hits Paul Revere]
Paul Revere : Aah!
Benjamin Franklin : [wakes up in passenger seat wearing sleep mask] What was that?
Thomas Jefferson : Nothing. And take that stupid thing off your head. It's embarrassing.
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General George Washington : [Benjamin Franklin opens motel room door to find General George Washington outside] Good God!
Benjamin Franklin : Oh hey General Washington.
General George Washington : You smell like whiskey and sperm!
Benjamin Franklin : Well...
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Monsieur Bouffant : [At a dinner where the eagle is the main course] This is delicious garlon. I have been all around this world and I have never ever come in contact with such a delicious creature as the garlon.
Benjamin Franklin : The Eagle.
Thomas Jefferson : Hey.
Benjamin Franklin : I mean you think it's funny to act...
Thomas Jefferson : To the garlon huh!
[the rest toast]
Benjamin Franklin : I'm sorry it's an eagle! You know it's not... there's no such thing as a garlon. You think it's funny to...
Monsieur Bouffant : Great garlon.
Benjamin Franklin : French idiot! I'll be in my carriage! Ignorance!
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Benjamin Franklin : Monsieur Bouffant allow me to introduce Thomas Jefferson.
Monsieur Bouffant : Thomas Jefferson? Wait you are the lunatic that keeps sending me moose carcasses in the mail.
[cut to his children screaming]
Monsieur Bouffant : You made our children cry.
Thomas Jefferson : I'm gon' keep making them cry until you admit American superiority in the case... in the term of...
Benjamin Franklin : [Franklin tries to whisper help] Animal
Thomas Jefferson : In animal...
Benjamin Franklin : Species and size...
Thomas Jefferson : and size.
Monsieur Bouffant : Oh no no! Elaine!
Elaine : Yeah?
Monsieur Bouffant : Le coq sil vous plait
Elaine : Le coq.
[Elaine produces a live rooster]
Elaine : [Thomas Jefferson gasps]
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Monsieur Bouffant : So may I ask Mr. Jefferson. What animal represents America?
Thomas Jefferson : [Jefferson trills to buy time] The bear!
Monsieur Bouffant : Russia.
Thomas Jefferson : They already got the bear?
Monsieur Bouffant : Yes. Yes.
Benjamin Franklin : [whispers to help Jefferson] Turkey.
Thomas Jefferson : I'm not saying turkey you stupid...
Benjamin Franklin : Say lion.
Thomas Jefferson : All right shut up. The... tiger the most powerful...
Monsieur Bouffant : India.
Thomas Jefferson : Huh... What?
Monsieur Bouffant : India.
[laughs at Jefferson]
Thomas Jefferson : The garlon! He's like a big 'ol building with fur and anger and he flies tall and he got a big mouft and he's got a face full of buildings which he will beat you up with cause he's got a building in his pocket.
Monsieur Bouffant : I would love to see this garlon.
Thomas Jefferson : And you will cause I'm gonna bring a garlon back here and he's gonna swallow your wife's cock.