TJ Kirk: The Distressed Watcher

Quotes 

• The Distressed Watcher : Who were they playing against? Retarded, paralyzed, elderly midget amputees?

• The Distressed Watcher : [about Grown Ups]  The cast is laughing, but the theater is dead. I still can't believe that audiences actually paid to go see The Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock and random-black-guy, but if audiences actually pay to see this movie then I'm going to build a bomb shelter because the end is certainly nigh.

• The Distressed Watcher : It's called A Death at a Funeral and it's a remake of a 2007 British film which was actually released here in America, but didn't do too well. So Hollywood decided to remake it and make it more accessible to American audiences. You know, by making it stupid.

• The Distressed Watcher : Her ass doesn't even look that good, okay. It's too small. If you're gonna have two black guys staring at a woman's ass, make it realistic. I've seen the magazines that black guys read and those butts are a lot bigger than the one that I just saw on screen just now. That's like a compromised ass between the white guys who like little, tiny asses and the black guys who like big asses. I like big asses too, so I know.