Royal Pains (TV Series)
Rash Talk (2011)
Paulo Costanzo: Evan R. Lawson
Quotes
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Paige Collins : Hello, Mr. Postman.
Evan R. Lawson : Hi. So I'm the postman? All right, what does that make you? Are you the mail? Are you a dog? Am I trying to open you? Are you running after me? Just tell me what to do. What do- what do- what do I do?
Paige Collins : For every sack of mail you go through, I will grant you a wish.
Evan R. Lawson : [pulling the nearest pile of mail towards him] Discard. Discard. Keep. Discard.
Paige Collins : Wow, you respond well to bribery.
Evan R. Lawson : Yeah, Hank was the good son. Me? Not so much. My mom actually used to bribe me to do chores and homework with Zwix Sticky Stix. This is, uh, a lot better, by the way.
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Divya Katdare : I have made food for a feast. First entrée, lamb vindaloo.
Evan R. Lawson : Ooh, sounds Indian.
[Divya serves some to Hank]
Evan R. Lawson : Looks Indian, too.
[Divya serves some to Evan]
Evan R. Lawson : Gosh, it smells...
Dr. Hank Lawson : [cutting Evan off] Amazing.
Divya Katdare : Thank you, Hank.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Sure.
Divya Katdare : It is my great-grandmother's favorite recipe. Please enjoy. Enjoy.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Okay.
[Evan gives Hank an uncomfortable look; Hank kicks him]
Evan R. Lawson : Gosh, all right.
[Hank and Evan take a bite]
Dr. Hank Lawson : Mmm! It's great.
Divya Katdare : Yeah?
Evan R. Lawson : Fantastic, Divya. It is really good.
Divya Katdare : [relieved] Okay, great. It's not too spicy. You'd tell me, right?
Dr. Hank Lawson : No, no. It is perfect.
Evan R. Lawson : Perfect.
Divya Katdare : Oh, I almost forgot the chutneys. Be back.
[Divya leaves; as soon as she's gone, Hank and Evan gag]
Dr. Hank Lawson : Oh, my God!
Evan R. Lawson : It's like I ate lava.
[Hank takes a drink of water from his glass, and Evan takes large gulps from the water pitcher]