- Dr. James Wilson: Taking money from a sick person is ethically suspect at best.
- Dr. Gregory House: What is this, Canada? All we do is take money from sick people.
- Dr. Chi Park: You do know I punched the last person that pissed me off?
- Dr. Jessica Adams: [while rolling her eyes and walking away] Was it Santa?
- Dr. Chi Park: That's naive and sick. You really want to improve things? You do it through policy. This guy empties his pockets, what really changes?
- Dr. Gregory House: That's right. All those babies with AIDS, they're just using us.
- Dr. Chi Park: My parents had $800 between them when they got here. They scraped and borrowed so we could go to good schools and I worked my ass off. No one gave me a handout. It makes me work harder.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: House, I worked for you for seven years. I know how you operate, so when I see symptoms magically show up right when you need them...
- Dr. Gregory House: And I was your boss for seven years and I know what a suspicious, micromanaging hard-ass you are.
- Dr. Jessica Adams: I'm not working, House. I'm in the process of looking for a paying job.
- Dr. Gregory House: In the meantime, there's no way a do-gooder like you has been volunteering all over town: ladling kittens, spaying soup...
- Dr. Jessica Adams: There is a free clinic in Trenton.
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, think of this as today's free clinic only with fewer bums with herpes.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Wilson] Hypothetical: if I'm offered oral sex from a sexaholic, do I have to decline? Don't answer yet. Saying no will cause both of us pain. Saying yes will cause both of us pleasure.
- Dr. Gregory House: Ah, Dr. Foreman. Perhaps you can help us. I can't decide whether to take out an "I told you so" ad in the New England Journal or stay classy and just spray-paint it on your car.
- Benjamin Byrd: [to House] I don't wanna give you money because you're an ass.
- Dr. Gregory House: I was an ass last week.
- Dr. Gregory House: Thirteen. Wait a minute.
- [Thirteen comes back]
- Dr. Gregory House: You're fired.
- Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: Now what? House, I'm starving.
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm not joking. You're fired. Don't come in tomorrow.
- Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: House...
- Dr. Gregory House: I can work with people who've got nowhere else to go. People who got something to prove. People who just get off on weird cases. What I can't work with is someone who's here so she doesn't have to feel bad.
- Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: You're trying to save me.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yes... I think that little of you and that much of me.
- Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: [Waits a moment and realizes he's giving her permission to leave to enjoy the rest of her life] OK. Bye, House.
- [Leaves]
- Dr. Chi Park: Guy collapsed after being on his feet for hours on a hot day without breakfast, so... that's really weird.
- Dr. Gregory House: E.R. found nothing wrong, then I decided I should test his wallet.
- Dr. Chi Park: He's rich? That's why we're taking the case?
- Dr. Gregory House: No, we're taking the case because no one knows what's wrong with him and he's rich.
- Dr. Jessica Adams: [to House] You said we were meeting for coffee.
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, when someone asks if you want coffee, they obviously don't just mean coffee. Wait... did you think I was referring to sex?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [to House] This is your new reality. You've got your office. You've got neighbors. You've got one employee, one volunteer until she finds actual, paid work or gets sick of you.
- Benjamin Byrd: Having a family doesn't exempt me from social responsibility.
- Dr. Chi Park: But family comes first.
- Benjamin Byrd: It should. I know that sounds weird, but someone who's related to you, does that empirically makes them more special? More deserving than anyone else?
- Dr. Chi Park: Yes. It gives you a responsibility.
- Benjamin Byrd: My boys have a roof over their heads, they're not starving, I pay court-ordered child support and, frankly, it's, uh... more than they need. I love them more than anything, I just... I can't justify buying video games and private schools when other people's children are starving. I hope one day, they'll understand that.
- Dr. Jessica Adams: [about Benjamin] Most people with his kind of money are commissioning oil paintings of their Yorkshire terrier. Benjamin is sacrificing his own comfort to help others.
- Dr. Gregory House: That's because helping others is his Yorkie oil painting.