American Dad! (TV Series)

Season's Beatings (2011)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Photos 

Quotes 

• Francine Smith : We're grandparents!

  Stan Smith : Steve was raped by a confused lesbian?

• Roger the Alien : [while drunk]  Christianity. My favorite deadbeat dad story. Check it: God fathers this kid, then disappears and then when the kid becomes famous, God wants to come live with Him. Exact same thing happened to Shaq. He did a rap about it called "My Biological Didn't Bother".

• Stan Smith : [to Roger as he's beating him up]  You don't deserve to be on that cross, you lazy, wine-loving bisexual!

• Roger the Alien : That punch. That punch right there. That's the punch where everything went black and I was finally able to achieve orgasm.

• Roger the Alien : [after Stan accidentally stabs him with the daggers]  Ah! You dumb son of a...! No, that's not who Roland is. Hey! You're doing great!

• Father Donovan : Look, Stan, I actually think what you did was really, really funny, but Christian leaders around the world saw you on TV and they've been chewing my ass off nonstop. I'm sorry, Stan, but I'm going to have to kick you out.

  Stan Smith : I can't go to your church anymore?

  Father Donovan : No, Stan, you're kicked out of Christianity. You can't go into any church.

  Stan Smith : No! Well, there must be some way to get back in!

  Father Donovan : Well, there are three, but they're tough: you'd have to find the Holy Grail or kill the Antichrist or donate ten million dollars to charity. That's how Jared from Subway got back in.

• Stan Smith : I don't want another religion, I want my religion.

  Francine Smith : I know, honey, but the thing is, you already kind of screwed yourself there.