Modern Family (TV Series)
Express Christmas (2011)
Ty Burrell: Phil Dunphy
Photos
Quotes
-
Phil Dunphy : Okay, who's gonna get the tree?
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh! I will, I will. Because, you know, get the wrong kind, people get upset.
Claire Dunphy : You get upset.
Mitchell Pritchett : I'm people.
-
Cameron Tucker : [Bringing Lily outside] Look who's wearing her itsy-bitsy bikini!
Phil Dunphy : He can comment beause he's gay.
Claire Dunphy : He was talking about Lily.
Phil Dunphy : So was... I.
-
Phil Dunphy : I am sorry, but there is no turkey.
Claire Dunphy : There's no turkey? What's the plan, Phil?
Phil Dunphy : Cornish game hens. If you get real close, they look like turkeys, and everyone gets their own.
Jay Pritchett : [Whispers] Sounds like fun.
Claire Dunphy : Not fun. Not fun. I asked you to pick up a cooked turkey.
Phil Dunphy : The store was out of turkeys. It was an hour to Express Christmas. Please, just make it work, okay? Please.
Claire Dunphy : They're not even defrosted.
Phil Dunphy : Fine, Claire. You want 'em defrosted?
[Takes out stun gun and tases the hens on every other word]
Phil Dunphy : MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!
Claire Dunphy : Phil!
[Everyone gasps]
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : ...is that my stun gun?
Phil Dunphy : Yep, and it works great!
-
Phil Dunphy : Have you ever heard of Express Christmas? No, you haven't, because I just invented it. Express Christmas, TM.
-
Manny Delgado : I don't like the looks of this guy.
Phil Dunphy : He looks like everybody else.
Manny Delgado : Great. You can just tell that to the police sketch artist.
-
Jay Pritchett : Can I put in my two cents on fake Christmas?
Phil Dunphy : Express Christmas.
Jay Pritchett : Let it go, Phil. It's not sticking.
Phil Dunphy : It needs time.