- Andy Bernard: My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary, you know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That's just part of it.
- Robert California: [Being embraced by Kevin] I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla.
- Kevin Malone: Yeah.
- Robert California: It's been 10 days since I had sexual intercourse.
- [Kevin starts to let go as Robert holds on tighter]
- Andy Bernard: Well, you came to the right place!
- Andy Bernard: [deleted scene] Ryan, for your holiday wish, you wanted ten sick days.
- Ryan Howard: I'd be satisfied with eight.
- Andy Bernard: Well, I did you one better.
- Ryan Howard: Nine?
- Andy Bernard: I got you health insurance.
- Ryan Howard: Oh, neat.
- Andy Bernard: Yeah. Right? But with great perks come great responsibilities, so I'm going to be expecting a lot more from you. No more zoning out in your office.
- Ryan Howard: Oh, great.
- Andy Bernard: Yes!
- Dwight Schrute: [deleted scene] So I got this bucket from Jim's garage and I filled it with everything disgusting except excrement. I can't wait to see the look on his face when that falls on his face.
- [the bucket lands on Cathy]
- Dwight Schrute: DAMN IT, CATHY!
- Robert California: [deleted scene] Cheers, Oscar.
- Oscar Martinez: Thank you. Tip jar.
- Robert California: I thought it would be a hoot. Oh...
- Oscar Martinez: It's very funny.
- [Oscar leaves]
- Gabe Lewis: Once again, Robert, incredible gin and tonic. Total gin-gasm right now.
- [he tips dollars]
- Robert California: Oh, no, no, no. You don't...
- Gabe Lewis: Yeah, yeah, you earned it. Is it the gin, is it the tonic or is it the man?
- Robert California: Gabe, I suspect it's the components because no love went into making that. It's just two fluids carelessly combined, but cheers.
- Andy Bernard: [deleted scene] For the past month, I have been collecting wishes from everyone in the office and I intend to make good on every single one of them. Now look, I may not have a great laugh like Santa or a flying sled. But I'll tell you what I do have. A Prius, a heart of freaking gold and an American Express Green Card.