Community (TV Series)

Digital Exploration of Interior Design (2012)

Travis Schuldt: Subway

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dean Pelton : Gang, meet Greendale's newest student, Subway.

  Troy Barnes : Your name is Subway?

  Subway : Yep, using a groundbreaking, but surprisingly legal process known as corpo-humanisation. Real people such as myself are now allowed to represent the collective humanity of business owners. I have contractually waived my birth identity, and am now a man and student named Subway.

  [Hands Troy his student pass] 

  Troy Barnes : I don't believe this. Come on, Subway, there is no way you're 5'10".

  Jeff Winger : So, you can vote?

  Subway : Actually no, because technically I'm only a week old.

  Annie Edison : Awww.

• Britta Perry : That's too bad, Dean. I don't recall seeing Subway in my premenopausal, postfeminist experiential marketing class.

  Subway : Actually, I'm on the wait list for the premen/postfem/ex mark.

• Subway : [Britta sighs]  Powerful passage, isn't it? "She had become a physical necessity."

  Britta Perry : You circled this paragraph.

  Subway : I can't say that I did. I just think it's a striking expression of love's ability to persevere within the cracks and cogs of inhuman systems.

  Britta Perry : Who were you, Subway, before you were Subway?

  Subway : I can't say. I have to live within the rules. This identity is my life.

• Britta Perry : [demanding]  What's going on?

  Pierce Hawthorne : I'll ask the questions here. You had sex with Subway, and I recorded it.

  Subway Rep : Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hmm. You know what, I'm going to let this one slide.

  Pierce Hawthorne , Shirley Bennett : [unison]  What?

  Subway Rep : I know we have very strict rules against romantic entanglements with our corpohumanoids, but at this point in time, we can't stop them from having hearts. These two are clearly in love. If they want to express that love in a perfectly healthy way, then... okay, hold on. Th... is this what I think it is? That got unhealthy real quick. That... okay, that's... yeah, that's weird. That is well out of the mainstream. You know, I was raised in the... the Bay Area, but I... I'm a father now.

  [removes headphones and clears throat] 

  Subway Rep : Subway cannot stand for that, and frankly, Rick, I... I'm surprised you did.

  Subway : My name is Subway.

  Subway Rep : Not anymore.

  [speaking into his shirt sleeve] 

  Subway Rep : The bread is stale.

  Subway : No! No!

  Dean Pelton : Oh, my God.

  Britta Perry : Subway, I love you!

  Subway : Britta!

  Pierce Hawthorne : Shut up.

  Britta Perry : [whispers, glaring at Pierce]  How could you?

  [Pierce silently glares back] 

• Britta Perry : You should try reading Orwell's "1984."

  Subway : I have. It's a great book. It really awakened me in high school. I think kids should be forced to read it.

  Britta Perry : Me too. Anyway, you're living it. You're a human puppet with big sandwich's hand up your ass. Is this what you dreamt of being?

  Subway : Unfortunately I'm not allowed to discuss my former life or engage in any nonplatonic relations, practice religion in public, or eat any nonfresh, unhealthy food like that found anywhere outside Subway.