Bikini Hackers (2023)

Caroline Elise: Sarah Lanchaster

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Lana Joke : [at swimming pool]  Hi. Sorry.

  [water splashing] 

  Lana Joke : I like to get an early morning swim in.

  Sarah Lanchaster : You've got a *really* nice place.

  Lana Joke : Oh, thank you. I mean, it's rented, and, uh, I have roommates, but... thank you. Uh, would you like some breakfast, maybe?

  Sarah Lanchaster : Who am I to say no?

  [Lana giggles, and walks out in front, providing Sarah with the enticing view of her delectable rear] 

  Lana Joke : [in the kitchen]  Would you like some fresh fruit from the exotic Orient?

  Sarah Lanchaster : Who am I to say no?

  Lana Joke : [giggles]  I... will have you know... I took tramp steamer six months across the Atlantic. Herd of elephant to the field of Siam to get these as fresh as possible to you.

  Sarah Lanchaster : [scoffs]  Wow.

  Lana Joke : That's a lie. I went to the greengrocer.

  [giggles] 

  Sarah Lanchaster : Wow. The greengrocer?

  [looks at computer on dining room table] 

  Lana Joke : Oh, you might have noticed that.

  Sarah Lanchaster : Yeah.

  Lana Joke : That's a computer.

  Sarah Lanchaster : Oh, yeah, I'm aware.

  [Lana giggles] 

  Lana Joke : I need it for work, but I hate that thing, honestly. But I love working on it in a bikini.

  Sarah Lanchaster : Yeah, you look really good in a bikini.

  Lana Joke : Thank you. You know, on the Net no one knows that you're a twenty...

  [giggles] 

  Lana Joke : twenty-one year old girl in a bikini that, like,

  [snickers] 

  Lana Joke : you know, that likes to spend the day outside by the pool most of the day.

  Sarah Lanchaster : Uh, well, you look good in a bikini.

  Lana Joke : Thank you.

  Sarah Lanchaster : I'm sure that you're *very* professional, and that some organization values you very much.

  Lana Joke : [little snicker of appreciation]  Well, could you get that for me?

  Sarah Lanchaster : Get what?

  Lana Joke : It's like a pad or what, it's got something written on it. Hmm. Eric Johnson. He's the Vice President of Second National Bank of England. It's, like, you know, the biggest bank in the world. Bigger than the First.

  Sarah Lanchaster : Uhm... Okay.

  Lana Joke : [types on computer keyboard]  And, huh! And we're in!

• Sarah Lanchaster : [narrating]  Dear Pentamus, I never thought this would happen to me. To be quite honest, I never thought about this at all, really. It's easy to imagine yourself a doctor or an astronaut or even a vampire. But I never expected I would end up a bikini hacker. What does that even mean? I can't remember the last time I even *wore* a bikini. It's not even me. I *did* dream about working in film, living in Los Angeles, Hollywood, but I didn't dream about being an actor or a director or even a writer. I dreamt about being a film editor. And five months ago, I did follow my dream and moved to LA. I worked mostly editing or assisting the editor of reality TV, cheap commercials, nothing too exciting. I found myself in a very unreal place. It started to get to me, really, and I didn't know how long my LA experiment would last. However, it was a place for dreams and that was where I met...

  Lana Joke : My name is Lana Joke.

  Sarah Lanchaster : Joke?

  Lana Joke : It's Danish. I'm the active head of X1000 Revenge. Wait, does my makeup look okay?

  Sarah Lanchaster : Yeah, it's fine.