- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: [dressed in an all-pink outfit] Guess who I am?
- Valentina: Uh...
- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: Watch, watch.
- [smokes a cigarette]
- Valentina: Peppa Pig.
- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: I'm Monica Vitti.
- Valentina: Monica Vitti's dead, but yes.
- Portia: Like, I just wanna...
- [chuckles]
- Portia: I don't know, feel, like, fulfilled and have an adventure, and, like, I'm sick of fucking TikTok and... and Bumble, and just... screens and apps and sitting there binging Netflix. And I just... I just wanna, like, live. I just wanna live my life, so badly.
- [chuckles]
- Portia: I just feel like I just wanna meet someone who's like, you know, totally ignorant of... the discourse.
- Albie Di Grasso: Girls always complain that guys aren't nice, but then if they find a nice guy, they're not always interested.
- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: Got my pasta vongole with giant clams. And then a Vespa ride with you. You're wearing the shirt that I gave you. You made my Italian dream come true. Thank you very much. I feel like Monica Vitti. I really do.
- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: Oh, God. This is such a beautiful view. I wonder if anyone's ever jumped from here.
- Harper Spiller: If you never fight, then your relationship is not real. It's like, yeah, we fight, we bicker, but that's because we talk about everything. You know? We're honest. They act like they're on their honeymoon. They're all over each other. But it's bogus. It's not real.
- Daphne Sullivan: I was just telling Harper how we never fight.
- Cameron Sullivan: Well, you're practically perfect, so...
- Daphne Sullivan: And when we disagree, you just give in, right?
- Cameron Sullivan: Yes, ma'am. Happy wife, happy life.
- Harper Spiller: But it's just, like, are these the kind of people we're gonna be hanging out with now? Like, really? Like, people that can only talk about what five-star hotel they've stayed at.
- Ethan Spiller: Okay, so you're a snob?
- Harper Spiller: What? I'm a snob? They're snobs.
- Ethan Spiller: I... I guess we're all snobs in different ways.
- Bert Di Grasso: Your mistake was being sloppy.
- Dominic Di Grasso: What are we talking about?
- Bert Di Grasso: That's what's unforgivable. A man does what he has to do. But you keep it tight. If you're sloppy, it's like you're rubbing her face in it. Bad form.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Thanks for the tip. You know, I don't think you were as discreet as you think you were regarding your own affairs.
- Bert Di Grasso: Affairs. They weren't affairs, they were nothing. They were peccadilloes.
- Valentina: Uh... Are you sure you don't need a car?
- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: No, this is... This is the Italian dream.
- Harper Spiller: What's with the boner?
- Ethan Spiller: Yeah, fair question. Uh, I was jerking off.
- Harper Spiller: Why?
- Ethan Spiller: Um, I don't know, endorphins? You know I sometimes get horny after I run.
- Harper Spiller: Well, couldn't you have just waited till I got back to the room? I was only gone 15 minutes. All I had was a croissant.
- Ethan Spiller: You don't like morning sex.
- Bert Di Grasso: You know, Hades raped Persephone right here in Sicily. She was picking flowers and he burst through the earth... and he raped her.
- Albie Di Grasso: Okay, Nonno.
- Bert Di Grasso: Well, that's what happened. He raped her. Then, he dragged her down to the underworld.
- Portia: Hmm. I didn't know that.
- Bert Di Grasso: Demeter forgave Hades, and he raped her daughter! I mean, whatever you've done can't be as bad as that. As Hades. And the raping.
- Lucia Greco: But I don't want to buy the dress Mia. I want to buy the whole store. And the first thing I do, you know what it'll be? Firing this bitch. Bitch, you're fired. Bye bitch!
- Portia: I just feel like I just wanna meet someone who's like, you know, totally ignorant of... the discourse. You know?
- Albie Di Grasso: Right. Right. Like... Like someone who lives in a cave. Like a caveman.
- Portia: Yeah, uh, yeah, I would date a caveman at this point. Yeah.
- Albie Di Grasso: I mean... I think you could aim higher. Honestly, I think you can do better than a caveman.
- Portia: I think I just need to... I don't know, like, up my meds or something.
- Cameron Sullivan: Where's your man?
- Harper Spiller: Oh, he wakes up super early to go running, so that's what I'm dealing with.
- Cameron Sullivan: What? Christ, I hate him.
- Daphne Sullivan: You know, I think some women cut off their husband's balls and then they wonder why they're not attracted to them anymore.
- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: I think... my fantasy day in Italy is... Well, first, I wanna look just like Monica Vitti. And... and then this man in a very slim-fitting suit... he comes over and he lights my cigarette. And it taste really good. And then takes me for a drive on his Vespa.
- Greg Hunt: You want me to rent a Vespa?
- Tanya McQuoid-Hunt: Then at sunset... we go down very close to the sea, to one of those really romantic spots. And then we... we drink lots of aperitivos, and we eat big plates of pasta with giant clams. And we're just really chic and happy and... and we're... beautiful.