2 Broke Girls (TV Series)

And the Messy Purse Smackdown (2012)

Beth Behrs: Caroline Channing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Caroline Channing : Max. Do you have any gum? My breath tastes like someone else's breath.

  Max Black : You're asking me if I have any gum? That's like asking New Jersey if it has any sluts.

  Caroline Channing : Great. There were onions in my street meat. Listen to me. "Onions in my street meat." Last year, I was taking meetings on Wall Street. This year, I'm eating meat from the street by a wall.

  Max Black : [searching her purse]  Let's see. Phone, chapstick. A pill! Could be birth control, could be ecstasy. Waiting for a day off to find out. Why wait?

  [takes pill] 

  Max Black : If I start touching your hair in an hour, don't let me have sex with anyone.

• Caroline Channing : [after someone knocks on the door]  Who is it?

  Sophie Kachinsky : [from behind door]  Kim Kardashian.

  [Caroline opens the door and lets her in] 

  Sophie Kachinsky : No, I'm not Kim Kardashian. No, I work for a living.

• Caroline Channing : Sophie? I can't believe I'm about to say this, but for Oleg, It's not just about sex. He feels things for you. I know for a fact he's buying you a special gift. Tell her, Max.

  Max Black : Well, he mentioned something about a fur and tonight when he was talking about you, he did use the word "love."

  Sophie Kachinsky : [with her mouth stuffed full of cupcakes]  "Love"? Oh, come on, don't ruin my cupcake buzz. I mean this man has no future. Yes, he does have a giant penis, but no future. I mean, I worked hard to get where I am. I need a man who has a dream and a drive. And, I can buy a big, giant penis online for $47.

  Max Black : Really? "Add to cart."