- Stewie Griffin: [while walking around on Everest as it gets colder] And the scarf Brian called "a gay waste" makes a rather important appearance.
- Lois Griffin: I'm sick of this family always feeling second best. I want to do something we can be proud of. I want Stewie, Meg and Chris to grow up with some confidence.
- Stewie Griffin: Then don't buy our shoes at the car wash.
- Pam Fishman: [to the Griffins] Have you seen Ben? We lost him in the storm.
- Ross Fishman: We're headed back up to find him. I just hope he's not trapped in some crevice somewhere.
- Peter Griffin: Well, my gut tells me he'll be squeezing himself out of a crevice very soon.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, don't be ridiculous. Ross' wife was with him and in fact, they invited us all over for dinner tonight.
- Peter Griffin: Oh, come on, Lois. I hate that guy. I don't want to have dinner with him.
- Lois Griffin: Hey! It's cooked food in another house. That's exciting for life-over women like me.
- Peter Griffin: Ah, the cold car ride through a dark, suburban night. Look out the window and think of death, kids. It's a-comin'.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, you left the flap open.
- Peter Griffin: It's like a thousand degrees in here, Lois.
- Lois Griffin: Close the tent now! It's freezing!
- Peter Griffin: Headline: "Woman Cold."
- Stewie Griffin: [after Peter throws up from altitude sickness] Hey, Brian, you want a pukesicle?
- Brian Griffin: I would love a pukesicle.
- Peter Griffin: [after the Griffins discover Ben Fishman frozen to death] Oh, great. Not only are we caught in this blizzard, but there's some maniac up here freezing people to death.
- Lois Griffin: You'll never guess who I ran into at the market just now.
- Stewie Griffin: Your hairdresser who's almost dead from cancer?
- Lois Griffin: Okay, gang, once we arrive in Nepal, we'll get all the supplies we need for the trip up Everest.
- Peter Griffin: Okay, but remember, kids, the people there have never seen people before. So when they walk up to you, quickly stuff a dollar bill in their mouth, and then you can pet 'em as much as you want.
- Chris Griffin: Is that true, Dad?
- Peter Griffin: Nah. Truth is, I don't know nothing about this place. I don't even know why it's called Nepal.
- [cut to heaven, where Jesus and God are looking down at Earth]
- God: The mountains look like nipples.
- Jesus Christ: Well, you can't just call a country "Nipples".
- God: What about "Ne-pahl"?
- Jesus Christ: Ooh, I like that.
- God: Ha, shocker: God gets it right.
- Lois Griffin: Wow, Pam. Everything smells terrific. Did you make all of this yourself?
- Pam Fishman: Yeah, I just got home from work, put down the lawyer's briefcase and put on the chef's hat. You know how it is.
- Peter Griffin: Nah. She don't do nothing.