Mathew Buck: Film Brain

Quotes 

• Film Brain : Enough with the explosions! This is what Michael Bay sees in his wet dreams.

• Film Brain : He gets a job almost the moment he's out of the corps AND he has enough stanima to boink his wife again. Lucky bastard.

• Film Brain : [Morgan sees a Caddy, then looks toward the camera, eyebrows raised in interest]  Did he just break the fourth wall? Jesus. All this comedy scene needs is a laugh track.

  [scene repeats, with laugh track added] 

  Announcer : Ha, ha, Funny Black Man will be right back after these messages.

• Film Brain : Ooh, that knife penetrated him like a camp counselor.

  [audience boos] 

  Film Brain : Aw, what? Come on, really?

• Film Brain : Holy shit! I mean, I know it's a bar and it had a load of alcohol in it, but was the building made out of explodium? It looks like Hiroshima!

• Film Brain : After surviving the THIRD blast that he should have been incinerated by, John comes out of the water to find a police boat arresting him. He cuffs the cop, stealing his gun and boat. You know, I don't think the cops take too kindly to you stealing their vehicles twice in one day.