Phelous & the Movies (TV Series)

In the Name of the Phelous: Lundgren 2 the Crisp (2012)

Phelan Porteous: Phelous, Future Phelous

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phelous : In the Name of the King 2 is a project lead Dolph Lundgren was very excited to be a part of, which is why he immediately turned the role down. Then he needed money shortly after and he said, "aw, fuck it."

• Future Phelous : Remember, you have to go back in time at the end of this video, or else none of this will ever happen.

  [disappears] 

  Phelous : Note to self: don't go back in time.

• The King : I was once known as Raven.

  Phelous : So his real name completely disappeared when he became the king, or did he literally change his name to first name The, last name King? Seems like someone is overcompensating for something. My guess is that dollar store crown.

• Phelous : Sugar Bear says yeah, sure he's up for the job of killing Granny Good Witch, but he wants to work alone because he doesn't know the land or what he's actually up against.

• Phelous : And talk about modern day medicine apparently gets Medieval Rayne in the mood, so they have some fully-clothed, scarf sex because Lundgren insists on never taking it off.

• Phelous : The whole point of this is just to show that Burger King does alchemy so that it doesn't completely come out of nowhere when it becomes a plot point that he's an alchemist.

• Phelous : And just when he's ready to take his fully-clothed bath, he gets attacked by hoodies and is saved by Miss Opening Scene.

• Phelous : Sugar Crisp equals not funny!

• Phelous : You know, this is always where I try to imagine the climactic battle of a medieva tale taking place: in a rinky-dink kitchen. What's the matter, guys, the bathroom too classy for ya?

• Phelous : And then Dolph decides he's gotta go back to the past and rule his kingdom... naw, just kidding, he decides he's gotta get drunk.

• The King : Our previous king, a commoner who rose to the throne, was a great man.

  Phelous : Fortunately he's dead, because Jason Statham sure as shit wasn't comin' back.