- [last lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: Professor Hawking, how nice of you to call.
- Stephen Hawking: Hello. I really enjoyed our game, Dr. Cooper.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, me too.
- Stephen Hawking: Or should I say Dr. Loser. Ha ha ha.
- Sheldon Cooper: [disconcerted] Y-yes, congratulations. You won fair and square. Uh, very impressive, sir.
- Stephen Hawking: Do you like brain teasers?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I love brain teasers!
- Stephen Hawking: What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck.
- [Leonard bursts out laughing]
- Stephen Hawking: Neener-neener.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I was taking a shower this morning, and when I got out I started to dry off with what I thought what a towel but turned out to be Howard's mom's underwear. I had to take another shower. It wasn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough.
- Sheldon Cooper: Earlier today, I invited Professor Stephen Hawking to join me in the popular online game Words With Friends. Moments ago, he accepted my request! Do you understand what that means?
- Howard Wolowitz: That somewhere right now, Stephen Hawking is saying, "Damn it. I meant to click no."
- Sheldon Cooper: The game is not called Words with Strangers. No. It is not even called Words with Acquaintances. It's called Words with...
- Raj Koothrappali: I'm not finishing your sentence! You pulled the plug on my funk!
- Sheldon Cooper: Stephen Hawking's a genius and he talks like a robot. Everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [to Penny] You guys have got to be the weirdest couple I know.
- Penny: Really? You can't think of anyone weirder?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [referring to Bernadette] I can,
- [whispers]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: but she's sitting right there.
- Sheldon Cooper: Paradigm-shifting news, gentlemen!
- [Turns off dancing game]
- Raj Koothrappali: Dude! I was about to Bollywood this bitch!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I feel like I'm in high school again.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yeah. Doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like us.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I know.
- [gleefully]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It's finally working!
- Penny: Now, behave yourself and eat your dinner, and maybe later, if you're lucky, you get to sleep with a college girl.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Really? Cause I went through four years of college and five years of grad school, that never happened once.
- [first lines]
- Raj Koothrappali: Try to keep up, Howard; I'm killing it.
- Howard Wolowitz: Yeah, I wish we looked this cool dancing in clubs as we do right now.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Don't worry, this is exactly how you look when you're dancing in clubs.
- Penny: You just assumed my paper would be bad, so you wrote one for me?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No. I assumed it was good, then I read it.
- Penny: What!
- Leonard Hofstadter: No... I mean, it was good; there was just a few things that needed a little polishing.
- Penny: wha- you changed every word!
- Leonard Hofstadter: That's not true, uh, uh. Slavery. Sixteen-nineteen. Your name on the top, that's all you.
- Sheldon Cooper: One of the greatest intellects of our time has agreed to engage with me in a gentlemanly battle of wits. And, I'm spanking him so hard his grad students won't be able to sit down.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know, when one male dominates another, his testosterone level rises.
- Sheldon Cooper: What's your point?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It's exciting to think you might be getting a testosterone level.
- [Leonard wants to talk about a problem he's having with Penny, but Sheldon is distracted with his own problem]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Is it possible we're having two different conversations?
- Sheldon Cooper: How would I know? I'm not listening to you.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's only a matter of time before we're coming up with fun nicknames for each other. I'll be Coop. Yeah. He'll be Wheels. If he's okay with that.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Wow. My boyfriend is friends with Stephen Hawking, and my new dandruff shampoo doesn't smell like tar. Everything really is coming up Amy.
- Penny: [Leonard brings her breakfast in bed] Leonard, it's 8 a.m. That's like the middle of the night!
- Stephen Hawking: Do you like Brain Teasers?
- Sheldon: Oh, I love Brain Teasers.
- Stephen Hawking: What do Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck. Neener, neener.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't know what to say.
- Penny: How about, "Gee Penny, you're smarter than I thought. You may be the one in school, but I'm the one who learned a lesson. I'm so stupid, Penny. Duh."
- Sheldon Cooper: She sounds exactly like you.
- Sheldon Cooper: He played! He played! Coop and Rolling Thunder are together again. He was okay with that nickname.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I did a bad thing.
- Sheldon Cooper: Does it affect me?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No.
- Sheldon Cooper: Then suffer in silence.
- Penny: It's just one history class. Look, I didn't finish college, so I thought I would give it a try.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Not to mention, your acting career is going south like Sherman.
- [Penny doesn't understand]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Read about it in your book.