Modern Family (TV Series)
When a Tree Falls (2012)
Eric Stonestreet: Cameron Tucker
Photos
Quotes
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Cameron Tucker : You're a list maker. I'm a dreamer. Sean Penn would play me in a movie, or Anne Hathaway if they were going for a female-driven vehicle.
Mitchell Pritchett : Who would be playing your long suffering partner?
Cameron Tucker : Julianne Moore either way.
Mitchell Pritchett : I would see that. I totally would.
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Cameron Tucker : Mitchell, where we the first day Lily rolled over?
Mitchell Pritchett : Under this tree.
Cameron Tucker : Where is home base when we play hide and go seek?
Mitchell Pritchett : Under this tree.
Cameron Tucker : And where did we take shelter during that dangerous lightning storm?
Mitchell Pritchett : Wasn't a good idea, but it was under this tree.
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Park Worker : My supervisor wants to know if you have a history of mental illness.
Cameron Tucker : No, sir, I do not.
Mitchell Pritchett : Eh. Mm.
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Cameron Tucker : Listen, I called Jay about borrowing a drill for my dresser handles.
Jay Pritchett : I got it right here, Cam. Oh, jeez. What's with the getup?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Ay, good. You see that, too?
Jay Pritchett : [his bulldog Stella barks at Cam] Stella, stop.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Ay, shh, shh, shh, shh. Sorry, Cam.
Cameron Tucker : Oh, no, don't be. I take it as a compliment.
[he hisses like a cat and Stella runs away]
Cameron Tucker : "Cats", now and forever. Actually, just 'til next Thursday. It's been described as "transcendent."
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Mitchell Pritchett : Cam, what are you doing up there?
Cameron Tucker : I came down to say goodbye to the tree, give it one final hug, and before I knew it, was up here.
Mitchell Pritchett : When you say "one final hug"...
Cameron Tucker : If I'm occupying the tree, they can't cut it down. I Googled it. It's a thing.
Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, Lily, see, this is a nightmare.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Tell me about it.
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Cameron Tucker : It was a great ending to an amazing day. Look, I even made the paper. "Bizarre protest saves park tree." Oh, look, what it says. "This production of 'Cats' should be put to sleep."
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Cameron Tucker : Mitchell, I get two more shows! Kenny Van Heffington's toenail is infected!
Mitchell Pritchett : Just get up here, all right? The crew has to leave at dark, so you have until then.
Cameron Tucker : Easy peasy. Sweetie, tell Daddy what you thought of my performance.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Transcendent.
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, jeez.
Cameron Tucker : Is this sap?
[he licks his hand like a cat licking its paw]
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Mitchell Pritchett : All right, Cam, let's hear. What's the plan?
Cameron Tucker : I don't know. I'm sort of making it up as I go.
Mitchell Pritchett : Are you sure you wanna do this?
Cameron Tucker : Yes. I've never been more sure about anything in my life. We need to teach our daughter the value of taking a stand, no matter the sacrifice!
[his cell phone rings]
Cameron Tucker : Hello? Done. I'll be right there.
[hanging up]
Cameron Tucker : Mitchell, you need to get up here. I have to go.
Mitchell Pritchett : Excuse me?
Cameron Tucker : That was my theater troupe. An actor's sick. I have to go and do the matinee.
Mitchell Pritchett : What happened to showing Lily the value of taking a stand?
Cameron Tucker : It's the lead. It's also important to show her the value of honoring one's commitments. And in this case, my commitment preceded my stand!
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Mitchell Pritchett : Cam, do you remember why I didn't want you to swap out the handles on Lily's dresser?
Cameron Tucker : Because you lack a designer's eye and fear change?
Mitchell Pritchett : No. Because I was afraid two weeks would go by and we'd still be using a spatula to get at Lily's clothes.
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Cameron Tucker : They are literally chainsawing paradise to put up a parking lot.
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, it's too bad.
Cameron Tucker : We have to do something.
Mitchell Pritchett : Well, if we knew earlier, we could.
Cameron Tucker : I blame myself. I've taken on too much.
Mitchell Pritchett : What exactly have you taken on?
Cameron Tucker : Are you kidding me? Teaching music? This dresser handle project? My role in the musical?
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, that.
Cameron Tucker : You know what? I don't like your tone. The understudy's the most challenging role in any production. You have to be ready at a moment's notice to go on and face a disappointed audience who was there to see Kenny Van Heffington.
Mitchell Pritchett : Our insurance guy?
Cameron Tucker : He's breathtaking.
Mitchell Pritchett : Really?
Cameron Tucker : Yeah, I hate him. Anyway, what was I talking about?
Mitchell Pritchett : Putting new handles on the dresser.
Cameron Tucker : Right. The tree. I have to do something.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : [trying to open a drawer with a spatula] I can't live like this.
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Cameron Tucker : Guess what they are cutting down at the park today.
Mitchell Pritchett : A tree.
Cameron Tucker : Yes. How did you know that?
Mitchell Pritchett : I played a hunch.