How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Stamp Tramp (2012)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : Marshall Eriksen, you just came back from your third date with Lily. How was it?

  Marshall Eriksen : Great. Yeah. I just... I think I'm falling for this girl. Pretty hard. But isn't everything happening too fast? I mean, maybe I should see other people.

  Ted Mosby : No, dude, no! Lily Aldrin is special. You hold on to that girl!

  Marshall Eriksen : She is. But I'm only 18 and...

  Ted Mosby : Marshall. You being 18 isn't a bad thing. It just means that you get to spend more of your life with her. I mean, I'm probably not gonna meet my wife until I'm, like... 23!

• Barney Stinson : [Barney does his own version of LeBron James' Decision Special]  Man, this whole free agent experience... it's been an unbelievable experience... a real, humbling experience. First all, the Lusty Leopard is where I developed my game.

  [looks at strippers] 

  Barney Stinson : I have nothing but the utmost respect for you skanks...

  Ted Mosby : [to Marshall]  Let's just go stay at the Lusty Leopard. They have loyalty and heart, I bet you he rewards that.

  Marshall Eriksen : LeBron moved on Ted, so should you.

  Barney Stinson : ...but Barney Stinson has to do what's right for Barney Stinson's penis. In this fall... This is tough, um, in this fall, I'm going to take my talents... to Mouth Beach!

  [Cheers] 

• Barney Stinson : Guys, I'm going through something kind of hard. Since Quinn and I broke up she's gone back to dancing at the Lusty Leopard. And it's just really tough...

  Ted Mosby : Because you have to find a new strip club?

  Barney Stinson : I have to find a new strip club! I've been going to the Lusty Leopard for seven years...

  Robin Scherbatsky : Wow, that's like 49 in perve years.

  Barney Stinson : 69. Self-five!

• Lily Aldrin : So you're saying the credit for the stamp goes to Dr. X, then, not you.

  [Ted hesitates, seemingly in an inner fight with himself] 

  Ted Mosby : Okay. I'm gonna tell you something right now.

  Lily Aldrin : [to Robin and Barney]  Take a sip, follow my lead.

  Ted Mosby : I'm Dr. X.

  [Lily, Robin and Barney all fake-spit out their drinks] 

• Lily Aldrin : How do you even know there's gonna be a mention of Dishwalla on those tapes?

  Ted Mosby : I don't. And it did take me days to get through them all, but that is how committed I am to the truth.

  [starts the video] 

  Lily Aldrin : [off screen, on the video]  Hey, you guys should check out that song by the band Dishwalla.

  Ted Mosby : [also off screen, on the video]  Really? I've never heard of them!

  Ted Mosby : Damn it!