- Han Lee: Caroline is late again. And she better not use your new cupcake shop as an excuse this time, 'cause sista, that crap ain't gonna fly.
- Max Black: First of all, stop talking like you're in a Tyler Perry movie. And secondly,
- [Caroline comes in without Han noticing]
- Max Black: Caroline's here, she's in the kitchen.
- Han Lee: Oh, really? 'Cause when I was in there, you told me she was out here. You play me, fool.
- Max Black: Stop talking like you're in a Tyler Perry sequel.
- Caroline Channing: [Max walks in on Caroline and Andy having sex after hearing Caroline shrieking] What are you doing?
- Max Black: I forgot Andy was here! And your sex voice is the same as your murder voice!
- Caroline Channing: So are you just gonna stand there?
- Max Black: Are you offering me a threeway?
- [Intercom buzzes]
- Max Black: Well, it looks like we're about to be a full-blown orgy.
- Caroline Channing: Hey, Earl, I didn't know if you noticed, but I'm running the whole diner right now. What, what.
- Earl: The customer at table 10 appears to be choking, and I would help, but the last time I gave a white woman the Heimlich, I did six months in the Birmingham City Jail.
- Caroline Channing: [Caroline notices the woman choking] Oh my God. Are you choking? Oh my God. I feel like you're choking. Is anyone here a doctor? What am I saying? I forgot where I am. Has anyone here ever seen 'Scrubs'? What do you do when a girl is choking?
- Oleg: I just back up a few inches.
- Caroline Channing: What do we do? What do we do? This woman is choking.
- [Max does the Heimlich on the woman and she hacks it up, the food splatters on a customer's shirt]