Dave's Old Porn (TV Series)

Artie Lange/Vanessa Del Rio (2012)

Dave Attell: Self - Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dave Attell : God, I wanna throw her into a pile of black men.

• Dave Attell : She is so hot, do you think- how many guys locked up do you think have like a tattoo of her on their back, doing pull-ups somewhere?

  Artie Lange : Well, I've been in a lock up, I can tell you: in L.A. County it's exactly 14 guys.

  Dave Attell : [Dave laughs]  Hooray for Artie.

  Artie Lange : And the rest of them have tattoos of Speedy Gonzalez.

• Dave Attell : Look at her Cheeching his Chong.

• Dave Attell : Guys, thanks so much for coming on the show, you guys are amazing.

  Artie Lange : I came on the show four times.

• Dave Attell : Now was that a fourway?

  Artie Lange : What that was, was fantastic entertainment.

  Dave Attell : You're right. Moving forward.

• Vanessa del Rio : I've never seen this movie.

  Dave Attell : You never have?

  Vanessa del Rio : No.

  Dave Attell : It's called 'Aphrodesia's Diary.

  Vanessa del Rio : [interrupting]  Yeah, I know, I know what it is, I just...

  Dave Attell : [interrupting]  I know, I'm just trying to be the host here.

• Dave Attell : Give us the do's and don't of eh, making love to a little person.

  [small chuckle] 

  Dave Attell : Go ahead.

  Vanessa del Rio : They're just no different, they're just short.

  Artie Lange : They're insanely different.

• Vanessa del Rio : [talking about midget buttocks]  It's a pot-butt.

  Dave Attell : Well, but that's where the treasure's hidden.

• Dave Attell : I guess that would be a 'bacial' - a back facial, right? I don't know what you'd call it, but, eh, you know...

  Artie Lange : [laughing]  A bacial!

  Dave Attell : Eh, I don't know what you'd call it?

  Vanessa del Rio : A cum-shot.

  Dave Attell : A cum-shot, basically.

  Artie Lange : You call it rude, where I'm from.