Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)

The Original B---- (2013)

Krysten Ritter: Chloe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chloe : [outside their apartment, responding to possibility of burglar inside, about to open door:]  No police. Never police.

  [takes out hefty firearm from her purse] 

  Chloe : Just a tranq gun.

• Tommy : When Chloe was eighteen, she came to New York, and moved into Apartment 23 with Trish.

  Chloe : [in back-flash, Trish opens door to find young ingenue on her doorstep]  HI, I'm Chloe!

  Trish : Save it. No names. It will make it easier when you leave New York and run back to your parents' home crying because the city was too hard.

  [taunting fake sobbing] 

  Trish : But, hey, at least the three weeks you last here will give you enough cocktail party material for the next ten years of your husband's dentist's functions.

  [so that's where Chloe learned that line!] 

  Chloe : [flutters eyelids]  I'm not running anywhere. I'm only afraid of one thing in this world, and since you aren't Steven Seagal's ponytail, it isn't you.

  Trish : [realizes this is a match for her]  Champagne?

  Chloe : Okay!

  [enters] 

  Tommy : [back in present day]  Chloe and Trish hit it off.

• Chloe : [ten years ago, watching The Crank]  You see that? That's what I wanna do.

  Trish : You wanna be a dancer on The Crank?

  June Colburn : [present time, eating snack:]  I remember The Crank. I wasn't allowed to watch it, because my Mom thought I would get pregnant.

  Chloe : [back-flash again]  No, I don't wanna be a dancer. I wanna be the foot ho.

  Trish : The what?

  Chloe : The foot ho is the girl who sits at the host's feet, looks fabulous, gets all the camera time and throws a ton of attitude. I'm gonna unseat that foot ho.

  Doris : [through next door window]  Quiet! Do you know what time it is?

  Trish : You better shut up, Doris!

  Chloe : You better shut your face and shut the window, Doris!

  Trish : Shut the window, Doris!

  Chloe : Shut it, bitch!

  [disgruntled old Doris slams her window shut] 

• Trish : Did you have fun paying six months of my phone bill?

  Chloe : Did you have fun giving the clap to the entire backroom staff of the New York Rangers?

• Chloe : [confronting Trish]  Hey, June! What's worse than a foot ho?

  June Colburn : A dead foot ho.

  Chloe : You know it.

  [they walk past Trish] 

• Chloe : I need to get away from this garden basement trash on Level One. I need to flirt with the cameraman.

  [lightly bounces towards camera, swaying, bouncing...] 

• Chloe : The only way to get to the Host Level is to throw attitude. You have to act like you don't care, but want it at the same time.

• Chloe : 32-22-34.

  June Colburn : What was that?

  Eli Webber : Her measurements.

  Chloe : Our voice-mail password.