Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)

The D... (2013)

Krysten Ritter: Chloe

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  June Colburn : [before going off to work, in front of fridge:]  Is it too early for a diet soda?

  [answers own question:] 

  June Colburn : It is not.

  Chloe : [dressed like strict schoolteacher, complete with glasses]  Good morning, June. Come,

  [pats table] 

  Chloe : take a seat.

  June Colburn : Why are you dressed like that?

  Chloe : It has been one year to the day... since you moved to New York City.

  June Colburn : Oh,

  [smiles] 

  June Colburn : I guess you're right. It has been...

  [sits down, wants to chat] 

  Chloe : [strict tone]  Are you finished? I asked you to sit down today so that I can give you your annual evaluation.

  June Colburn : [sighs]  This is silly. I don't have time for this. I'm gonna be late for work.

  Chloe : You got a D!

  June Colburn : A D? What did I do to deserve a D?

  Chloe : You tell me.

  [takes off glasses, loosens her hair, lets it tumble down:] 

  Chloe : Was that in slo-mo for you too?

• Chloe : Freaking idiot!

  [clutches her temples] 

  Chloe : I swear to God, when mothers birth morons, are they doing it just to upset me?

• June Colburn : I don't do things that way!

  Chloe : You don't do things any way. That's your problem. You date like a Quaker.

• Chloe : Go and turn some gays. It's fun. It's a sport. An Olympic sport? Yeah, maybe...

• James Van Der Beek : Wait, this isn't a porn theater. This is an art house cinema. They screen classic films here. And porn on Tuesday nights.

  Chloe : But it's Thursday. What are we doing here?

• Chloe : [perched on bar stool]  Oh, I forgot the olives. June! Do we have any olives?

  June Colburn : Yeah, they're in the fridge.

  Chloe : [reaches over without getting up, grunts, it's too far]  Screw it!

• Chloe : [to June]  I like this side of you. You're like a homeless lady with just enough fight inside of her to survive winter.