- Caroline Channing: [Referring to her ripped pants and the fact she keeps stapling them together] I have a hole in my butt.
- Chiandra: You know you're supposed to, right?
- Max Black: There. I french fried my phone. What else can I do ? I mean, reallyn it's technology's fault, it's turning us against each other. Caroline, I swear I would never ACCIDENTALLY say anything about you again that I never meant.
- Caroline Channing: I have to get ready for work, it's fine.
- Max Black: Stop saying that, please, stop saying it's fine ! Fine doesn't mean fine. The scale goes : great, good, OK, not OK, I hate you, fine. If fine meant fine, that'd be great, but it doesn't, OK ?
- Caroline Channing: You're right, it's not fine. It sucks, I'm hurt, you're the one person I care the most about...
- Max Black: No, YOU are the one person I care the most about.
- Caroline Channing: Well, right now, it doesn't feel that way.
- Max Black: [yelling] It HAS to feel that way, you're my best friend, Caroline, I love you !
- [long pause, Max seems about to cry]
- Max Black: Oh my god now I'm really gonna throw up.
- Caroline Channing: Max, is that the first time you said "I love you" ?
- Max Black: Don't look at me, I'm embarrassed.