Brad Jones: 80's Dan

Quotes 

• 80's Dan : Okay, now what you're about to see is the pilot for a television series called Automan, a show so good it can only stay on the air for twelve episodes.

  R.O.B. : And that's about how many minutes people tuned into the show before changing the channel.

• Dolly : Wait, starring Desi Arnaz, Jr.? Something was actually starring Desi Arnaz, Jr.?

  80's Dan : I'm sure other celebrity sperms were busy in 1983.

  R.O.B. : Yeah, God forbid Chris Mitchum take a break from The Executioner, Part II.

• 80's Dan : [opening voiceover]  80's Dan is filmed in front of a live studio audience sound machine.

• 80's Dan : I miss when shows would add non-human characters that realistically made no sense whatsoever.

  R.O.B. : [cut to R.O.B]  Why did you cut over to me?

• Dolly : Seriously, are they gonna explain how he was able to create Automan?

  80's Dan : Would you want McDonald's to explain the secret sauce?

  R.O.B. : Thousand Island dressing created Automan?

• Roxanne Caldwell : What happened to Automan?

  Walter Nebicher : Damn...

  Roxanne Caldwell : It isn't working?

  Walter Nebicher : It either isn't getting enough power...

  Roxanne Caldwell : Or?

  Dolly : Wait, why is she skeptical? She saw Automan two minutes prior.

  R.O.B. : You're pretending like this is supposed to make sense?

  80's Dan : [screaming]  Ahhh, a talking robot!

• 80's Dan : Oh, looks like the villains have taken their hostages all the way to Switzerland.

  R.O.B. : [mockingly]  Yeah, I forgot that Colorado was somewhere in Switzerland.

• 80's Dan : You listen to that? He's got an accent. He's evil! He's clearly evil!

  Dolly : Manimal had an accent.

  80's Dan : You remember my lecture on Manimal?

  Dolly : I remember you masturbating in the middle of it.

• Dolly : What? Wally? His name on the show is Wally?

  80's Dan : Wings Hauser took most of the cool 80's names.

  [advertises VHS] 

  80's Dan : Wings Hauser is Sam Stryker in Hostage! Rated R!

  R.O.B. : Is it too late to name you 80's Douchebag?