- Jess hires, then has to immediately fire Coach as her school's new volleyball coach. Meanwhile, Schmidt gets sued, and Cece catches the eye of a much younger man.
- Jess hires, then must immediately fire Coach as her school's new volleyball coach. Meanwhile, Schmidt gets sued and enlists Nick and a procedural television-loving Winston to represent him at the deposition. Also, Cece catches the eye of a much younger man.—Anonymous
- At Schmidt's fake store, a guy comes in, promptly falls down and announces he broke his arm and is suing Schmidt.
At Jess' school, Coach admits he's enjoying his job. The biology teacher comes to Jess for help with his Internet. She's also mowing and painting graffiti in the hopes that her hard word will get her noticed by principal Foster in a few years and he'll consider her for vice principal. Coach suggests just asking for it now.
He takes her to the volleyball court and tries to pump her up, and take control -- life lessons through spiking the volleyball. She winds up bouncing one off her face pretty good.
Back at the loft, Winston is eating up Schmidt's legal drama. His favorite author is John Grisham, favorite show is "Judging Amy," favorite color is "courtroom brown." Nick suggests that'd be a good name and Winston starts responding to Courtroom Brown.
Nick tells Schmidt he could be his lawyer since he passed the bar. He makes Schmidt say please and requests a symbolic $5 retainer.
Jess goes to see Principal Foster. "I'm young, I'm energetic and I think it's about time you take advantage of me!" she announces.
He feels awkward; he's exclusively into Asian women (it's a Kristi Yamaguchi thing). She clarifies that she wants to be vice principal and he immediately says yes -- he thought he was going to have to force someone into it.
He gives her a stack of papers and tells her to get started. Outside his office, she announces the news to Coach, who attempts to dunk her with "Coachade."
Nick goes over the lawsuit and tells Schmidt his deposition is tomorrow. Winston offers to pretend to be the plaintiff, but gets too into it and starts refusing to answer questions, confusing Nick. Schmidt fires him.
At the bar, a cute young man introduces himself to Cece as "Buster." Her boss Mike interrupts, announcing he has an eye for young boys. He checks Buster's Wyoming ID, which doesn't match his Australian accent. He admits he's 20. "Get out of here, you delicious bastard!" Mike says.
Jess visits with Principal Foster about the budget, due Monday. Foster announces they have to fire the most recent hires, including Coach. Jess doesn't want to do it, but he says it's part of the job.
Jess breaks the news to Coach. A bunch of his playful scamp students come in with a letterman's jacket they bought that says "Coach Coach." "Thanks guy, but I'm not Coach anymore, I'm just Coach," he says as he walks away fighting off tears.
Back in the loft the next morning, Jess gets squinty eyes from Winston, who takes his breakfast into his room. Nick is upset he bought a briefcase for $19 and now he'll never get to use it since Schmidt fired him. "I spent all those years at law school with those preppy dicks and I never got to prove them wrong," he says.
"Go after what you want, just make sure that what you want doesn't make you a cog on a larger flawed system," Jess says, thinking of her own situation. Somehow she ends up firing up Nick, who goes to put on his power suit.
He shows up at Schmidt's deposition with "Winston Ferguson," the senior partner of his law firm. Winston opens with a lawyer joke, "whether I sit in my office or here, it's all billable."
Nick asks the plaintiff his address then says he has no further questions.
At the bar, Coach tells Jess he has no hard feelings. He makes Jess and himself cry describing the kids. Jess gets fired up and tells Coach he should be at the game.
Back in the deposition, the stenographer reads back Nick and Schmidt's bickering and then Nick announcing he's going to stall for time by having the typer lady read things back to him. The plaintiff's lawyers offer $20,000 and Schmidt is prepared to take it. But Nick won't let him, telling him he has a plan and asking Schmidt to believe in him. But he won't tell Schmidt the plan because he'll get too mad.
At coach's volleyball game, his team is getting their butts kicked, as he expected. He leads them all in cheering and fires them up.
Jess tells Principal Foster they can make up the money other ways, she doesn't want to let their best people go. She suggests renting out the multi-purpose room to clubs, but he asks where the orchestra would practice. Another teacher suggests the library.
Coach's team unexpectedly scores and they celebrate. Jess goes to give him the good news and gets taken out by an errant volleyball.
Back in the deposition, Nick slips Schmidt the screws from his chair and then sits down, tumbling over backwards. He shouts negligence, leading the other lawyers to wonder if it's his first case.
Nick says it is, and that's why he's going to file petition after petition and drown them in paperwork. He suggests they pay their client the $20,000 themselves. "What do you call a lunatic who's only got one case and no hobbies? Your worst nightmare," Nick says.
Winston, Schmidt and Nick get up and leave.
Winston leaves his card for the opposing attorney, telling him to give him a ring if he ever wants to play with the big boys. It's a baseball card.
At the bar later, the guys celebrate with shots. Cece sees hot young Buster come in. He tells her she's beautiful and he's going to try a bit of self-promotion. He just opened his own business building boats with his bare hands, old ladies think he's sensitive and he's a great cook, although he can only make three meals and two of them are the same thing.
Cece suggests coffee. The guys cheer Buster's success.
Nick comes home, fired up from his win and finds Jess out cold in bed, surrounded by budget stuff with a reading light clipped to her cap. "Wow, we're a couple," Nick says as she sleeps through his offer of sex.
He tidies up the bed and joins her.
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