Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Blues Brothers 2000 (2014)

Tamara Chambers: Little Kid Critic, Girl in Commercial

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : Here's the only thing certain after death, taxes, and everything you love either getting a shitty sequel or a shitty remake: commercials!

  [goes to a commercial; Malcolm and Tamara are watching a movie while the Critic speaks as an announcer] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Tired of a movie giving you an unbelievable experience, only to find years later the same filmmakers fuck it up with their shitty sequel or spinoff? Well, fear no more, because we've invented Fuckital.

  [a pill bottle labeled "Fuckital" is displayed; Tamara downs the entire contents of the bottle] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Now you can stop caring about a movie series you once loved by acknowledging it probably wasn't that important to begin with.

  Malcolm : [looking quite annoyed]  Can you believe the person who directed "Alien" did this?

  Tamara : [a glazed look on her face]  Sure...

  Malcolm : It makes no sense and pales in comparison to the original.

  Tamara : Whatever...

  Malcolm : Hey, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't think this was a big deal.

  Tamara : I don't. It's only a movie.

  Malcolm : WHAT?

  Tamara : I used to be emotionally invested in what I watched, but now, the more I think about it, maybe Joseph Gordon-Levitt should play Robin.

  Malcolm : No!

  Tamara : Maybe "The Hobbit" did need all those extra scenes.

  Malcolm : You're insane!

  Tamara : Maybe midichlorians... aren't such a bad idea.

  Malcolm : [shaking her]  Wake up, damn it! Don't go where I can't follow!

  [she proceeds to foam at the mouth and pass out, while Malcolm looks at the bottle and reads the label that says "Made with 90% Morphine"] 

  Nostalgia Critic : With a heavy enough dose, you'll forget all about Sofia Coppola in "The Godfather", Emo Peter in "Spider-Man", and all pretentious dialogue from "The Matrix" movies.

  [Malcolm freaks out over Tamara] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Fuckital, because it doesn't matter if one of the Blues Brothers is a little kid. Or John Goodman. Or plotless. Or has a car that can do anything. Because you know, who cares? Who cares at all that it's a timeless classic, the original? Yeah, who cares that we just want to fuck it up? I mean, we just want to totally destroy it, because, y'know, it's just "The Blues Brothers". It doesn't matter that it's a Chicago icon! It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter at all!

  Malcolm : [to Critic, worried about Tamara]  Um, excuse me, can we call 911 or something?

  Nostalgia Critic : No, no, no, I wanna get this off my back! I wanna get this off my back! The Blues Brothers is just this big symbol of Chicago, and it's funny and it's musical and it's fantastic!