- Stuart has recently split up with his girlfriend. When his girlfriend comes to visit LA, Stuart pretends to have a relationship with his tenant to make his ex feel jealous.
- When Stuart learns that his British ex girlfriend is planning to visit Los Angeles with her husband, he sets out to impress them with his glamorous lifestyle, enlisting a Russian model he has just met to play the role of his beautiful girlfriend. What could go wrong?
- [HBO] HD. Stuart (Stephen Merchant) enlists his roommate Jessica to prove to a visiting ex-girlfriend that she made a huge mistake by leaving him.
- British expat Stuart Pritchard (Stephen Merchant) and his friend Wade (Nate Torrance) are in a club for their friend Jessica's (Christine Woods) 30th birthday. They're trying to pick up women, their first line always being, "Hello, Ladies."
Jessica is talking to her friends, who all seem younger and more successful. She tries to ask her agent-with-benefits Glen (Sean Wing) about their future, but he avoids answering.
Stuart receives a call from Trudy, his former girlfriend from England. She's coming to Los Angeles.
Jessica is on an audition for a yogurt commercial. It involves running around and being chased by a yogurt monster, and she's finding it demeaning.
Stuart and his assistant Rory (Kyle Mooney) call Glen and asks if he has a girl he could hook up with Stuart, as he wants to impress Trudy when she visits. Glen suggests he attend a yacht party held by Alan Randall, a finance mogul, where he can meet all sorts of models and actresses.
Jessica is in Glen's office complaining about her auditions and lack of success after working in L.A. for 10 years. She tells him he's quitting. And because he won't commit to her, she breaks up with him as well as fires him as her agent.
Jessica and Stuart are floating in Stuart's pool while she explains she's looking for "The One." Stuart wants to make sure he can still hang out with Glen. He explains to Jessica that he didn't have success with girls when he was younger. We see flashbacks of Stuart at a school dance and at college, trying anything it impress any random girl. We see him at his IT job where he meets Trudy and they begin a romantic friendship. But Trudy ends up with an obnoxious co-worker, Mike Mofftet. Heartbroken, that's when Stuart moved to L.A.
In the present day, Stuart explains to Jessica that if he looked successful to Trudy and Mike -- who she married --- then maybe she'd regret letting him go.
On the yacht, Stuart is ogling the beautiful models dancing and drinking. Glen introduces Stuart to Alan and also to a model named Tatiana, whom Stuart tries to flirt with. She seems to like him and allows him to kiss her. He manages to take a selfie of the kissing. She also agrees to go out with Stuart on the night when he wants to impress Trudy and Mike.
Jessica has a series of disappointing encounters. The first is with a priest who can't explain how Jesus rose from the dead. The next is with a vapid man at a backyard party. When he asks for her phone number, she gives him Stuart's instead.
In a restaurant with Wade, Rory, and Kives, Stuart brags about his kissing a Russian model. At home, Stuart and Jessica watch TV and laugh about dating. Jessica's movie, "White Venom 2" shows up on TV and they wrestle over the remote, laughing.
Wade introduces Jessica to his boss, Carol (Michael Hyatt ), as Jessica needs a new career. Unfortunately, Jessica has no experience and no college degree.
Stuart and Rory are cleaning up his house in preparation for Trudy and Mike's visit. Jessica mentions that she's behind on her rent before darting out.
Stuart lets in Trudy and Mike. Trudy is kind but Mike makes remarks about skin cancer, shoddy construction, and American beer. Rory appears with a prepared speech to make Stuart look better in front of his guests. Stuart also boasts about being a ladies man and mentions that his professional model girlfriend will be arriving soon. When she doesn't show, Stuart calls her from another room; she had blown off their plans even though she had confirmed.
In a panic, Stuart sneaks over to Jessica's and asks her to play his girlfriend. She says she'll do it for three months free rent. He agrees but says she has to dress up and make him look great in front of his English friends.
Jessica pretends to be Stuart's girlfriend at a party of Alan's, the finance mogul from the yacht, in front of Trudy and Mike. Trudy sees Nicole Kidman at the party and is star-struck. Stuart lies that he knows her and Trudy begs to be introduced to her. Stuart walks over to Nicole and pretends to know her, then asks her quietly to play along. She is game and pretends to know him, though she's less thrilled with being in a photo with them. And she puts up with Stuart telling everyone that he used to date her and broke her heart.
Stuart's plan is working. Trudy is impressed and Mike is jealous.
Stuart and Jessica are driving home from the party singing to "Sussudio." Jessica compliments Stuart on how nice he is when he's relaxed. He offers to pay for Jessica to finish her college degree. They arrive home and he thanks her for pretending to be his girlfriend. He kisses her on the cheek, then they kiss more passionately.
Stuart and Jessica are in bed and they laugh about his glasses, the cheap condom Stuart has, his lady weights, and his ineffective dirty talk.
The next day Stuart is having drinks with Wade, Kives, and Rory and happily reports his getting together with Jessica. He says he's very relaxed and happy when he's with her. Wade asks if their first kiss was "like falling into a warm bath" and Stuart smiles and says yes.
Stuart visits Glen in his office and confesses he got together with Jessica to make sure it is OK with him. Glen shrugged it off.
When Stuart gets home and tells Jessica how much he likes her, Jessica tells him it's not a good time to be in a relationship. She asks if they can stay friends for now and, trying to hide his heartbreak, he says yes.
At a bar with Wade, Wade tells him Jessica might be open to it someday, and friendship is a good start. Ever the optimist, Wade is sure Stuart and Jessica will get together. A young woman, Kate, is at the bar and she and Wade hit it off.
On the street, Stuart catches a glimpse of Jessica on a date with another man. They go back to being housemates, basically saying hi and bye to each other and stiffly watching TV together on different sides of the sofa.
One night, Stuart is asleep in his bed, when Jessica comes in, upset because her computer crashed and she might have lost her college application essay. He goes to her computer and restores the files. He says he saw her on a date and asks why she didn't give him that chance. Under pressure, she tells him as nicely as she can, that he tries too hard to be popular with model types. He looks hurt but thanks her for being honest. Her files are restored and he asks her to move out, because it's too difficult for him to watch her dating. He'll still cover her rent for another place.
When Jessica moves out, she gives the keys to Stuart and says goodbye to him and Rory.
Stuart resumes his life, picking out frozen food for dinner, watching TV alone, looking at the empty studio where Jessica used to live. He calls Glen and gets invited to another of Alan's boat parties.
Stuart arrives at Alan's yacht with Kives, Wade, and Wade's new girlfriend. Alan calls Glen over and tells him to have Kives, Wade, and Wade's girlfriend move downstairs, ostensibly because they're not as attractive as the model-actresses that make up the rest of the crowd.
Stuart stands up and approaches Alan, who tells Stuart to get rid of his friends. Stuart calls him a "misogynist old wanker who's going to die alone." He shows himself out, having insulted Glen as well. Kives is annoyed that they have to leave the boat, but Stuart won't explain why they had to leave.
Jessica has started college and while she's still unsure sometimes of her career path, she's fascinated by what she's learning and enjoying herself immensely. She's on a double date with her friends and a man named Josh. Glen appears with a model-girlfriend and they say hello. Jessica asks about Stuart, and Glen explains how Stuart insulted both him and Alan. Jessica is impressed at Stuart's change in behavior smiles to herself.
At home, Stuart calls Trudy in England. He confesses that Jessica isn't really his girlfriend and that he never dated (or met) Nicole Kidman before. He calls himself an idiot and apologizes. She accepts it and wishes him well.
Stuart goes on with his life, joining his friends for meals and poker. Jessica leaves him a voicemail inviting him to her birthday party at the same place she had her party last year.
At her party, she smiles when Stuart walks in with Wade. Stuart gives her a gift card for 24-hour-gift card help from him. They laugh as they catch up. Stuart says he's given up on supermodels. Jessica says she likes Josh just fine but she's not sure he's "the one." Stuart says that love is more about percentages. When he was with Jessica, he has a great time about 82% of the time. Her friends arrive and they wish each other well.
Stuart says goodbye to his friends and leaves the party. He's partway down the block when he hears Jessica call him. "Seventy-nine percent," she tells him. She's happy with him 79% of the time. They kiss. They joke about the discrepancies in their numbers.
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By what name was Hello Ladies: The Movie (2014) officially released in India in English?
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