Major Crimes (TV Series)

Down the Drain (2014)

G.W. Bailey: Louie Provenza

Quotes 

• Sharon Raydor : That's a lot of mothers to check.

  Louie Provenza : Yeah, and considering our victim's race, height, blood type, and the fact that she had an episio...

  Sharon Raydor , Mike Tao : Episiotomy.

  Mike Tao : It's a surgical incision to enlarge the opening...

  Louie Provenza : I know what it is, thank you very much. I just can't say it. So, we'll ask about women who had an unpronounceable procedure during childbirth.

  Amy Sykes : I bet you could say it if it was vasectomy.

• Andy Flynn : Okay, it's room temperature. Here you go. Ain't that much better than those jingling keys?

  Sharon Raydor : Andy, I had no idea you were so good with babies.

  Andy Flynn : Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises.

  Louie Provenza : Well, you're full of something.

• [first lines] 

  Andy Flynn : Los Angeles finally gets the rain it needs, so, naturally, we end up down the drain.

  Louie Provenza : Doesn't bother me. I'm down here all the time.

  Andy Flynn : You are?

  Louie Provenza : After four wives and five divorces, down the drain is where I come to visit my money... and more than a few of my dreams.

  Buzz Watson : Your dreams? Well, that explains the darkness.

• Buzz Watson : Except the baby might not belong to the Glovers after all. They weren't the only couple Heather was writing to about him.

  Louie Provenza : What are you talking about, Buzz?

  Buzz Watson : She was sending two other couples e-mail updates of her pregnancy.

  Sharon Raydor : The Hunts and the Maguires.

• D.D.A. Andrea Hobbs : Here's what the suspect's attorney will say: Heather gave Mr. Barnes the money, headed back to the hotel for her car, got caught in a rain storm, slipped, hit her head, and ended up being swept into the drainage system where her body was battered to death, and Dr. Morales won't be able to disagree, and you have a lot other suspects who are part of a huge financial scam.

  Sharon Raydor : No one is disagreeing with you, Andrea. Our evidence is purely circumstantial, but Thomas Barnes doesn't know that.

  Louie Provenza : It doesn't matter what we say to him, only what he says to us.

• Louie Provenza : Thank God - the victim.