Mike Jeavons: Mike J.

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Mike J. : Hello, I'm a British person, and I can't say I'm a huge fan of the movie Angel Dog.

  [beat] 

  Mike J. : That's it. Angel Dog is a 2011 movie about a car crash survivor who finds comfort in his dog after losing his family. It tackles some serious issues fairly well, and it isn't actually about a ghost dog or whatever you think it's going to be, going by the DVD cover. It clearly made somebody a bundle of cash, because in 2013, Angel Dog 2 was released, or as I like to call it, a massive repackaged movie of LIES! Because it's just the re-release of Sheeba, which itself is the re-release of The Crab Orchard, and that was a TV movie from 2005 starring Judge Reinhold and Edward Asner. So what gave them the bright idea of re-releasing it - again? Let's find out.

• [last lines] 

  Mike J. : I know it's meant to be a heartwarming drama about dealing with post-9/11 struggles, but it's corny, messy, and poorly produced. The only thing going for it is the cute dog, which isn't Angel Dog, so why even re-release it as that? Look, IMDB even has no knowledge that Angel Dog 2 is a thing! But to be honest, that's probably for the best.

• Mike J. : So somehow, Sheeba escaped, and both Clay and the bully found her at exactly the same time, and the bully had a FREAKING GUN, which he had no problem in using! Why is this kid not locked away in some kind of dungeon?