- Emily Raydor: I'm just a... I'm worried that-that Dad's gonna say he's drinking because, you know, he-he feels like you tried to change him and we still cut him out of Christmas.
- Rusty Beck: Well, yeah, and he probably WILL say that because users always find a reason why it's someone else's fault they're drinking. And Sharon knows that.
- Emily Raydor: You just... You don't understand the whole history. Mom promised Dad that he would never see his kids again unless he stayed sober; and, you know, you may not know this, but, um, she keeps her promises.
- Rusty Beck: Right... Well, you may have to pretend like you're seven at Christmas but you and Ricky are still adults. Does Sharon still tell you who you can and can't see? 'Cause she doesn't do that to me. Don't you think this might be what Jack wants, for you to not trust Sharon?
- Andy Flynn: So, who is this friend you're spending, uh, Christmas with?
- Louie Provenza: At this rate?... You.
- Rusty Beck: Did those wine bottles come out of Jack's garbage?
- Ricky Raydor: Yeah, just don't say anything about that to Mom.
- Rusty Beck: Bu... but what if she finds out we knew and didn't say anything?
- Emily Raydor: Here's another Christmas tradition you need to learn...
- Ricky Raydor: Right. So, after a certain age, the holidays are for our parents, not for us; so, it's our job, our responsibility really, to make them feel like we're having as great time as we did when we were seven.
- Buzz Watson: You don't consider the murder of Santa Claus to be a major crime? Because in my reserve training class...
- Louie Provenza: Buzz, the first thing you have to learn as a backup police officer is how not to get emotionally caught up in the crime, uh, which, in this case, is over. The circle is closed.
- Sharon Raydor: Lieutenant Provenza?
- Andy Flynn: The circle reopens.
- Louie Provenza: Captain... oh, and your whole family. What a wonderful surprise.
- Sharon Raydor: Is it? I've been calling you.
- Sharon Raydor: Uh, Lieutenant, as you all know, I'm having a Christmas party tomorrow night and... Are you, are you coming, by the way?
- Louie Provenza: No, no, I'll be out of town. I'm going down to Laguna Beach with a... uh, a-a-a friend, and-and it's a spur-of-the-moment-thing.
- Sharon Raydor: Well, then, time is of the essence for all of us, so why don't we divide and conquer?
- Ricky Raydor: Mom, where's the Christmas Village?
- Rusty Beck: The what?
- Emily Raydor: Ignore him, Rusty. He's obsessed with childhood junk.
- Ricky Raydor: Whoa. "Junk?" No, no. First off, the Christmas Village is very valuable. It's filled with collectives. Rusty, it's-it's a special diorama made with all these model buildings from Dickens' novels and they all light up. It's awesome.
- Sharon Raydor: I am so sorry, honey. I... I left the Christmas Village in storage.
- Ricky Raydor: Why would it be in storage? We put it up every year and... and... Mom, where are the pinecone elves? What is this? That looks like a guilt cookie.
- Sharon Raydor: They were falling apart.
- Ricky Raydor: You didn't throw them away.
- Sharon Raydor: I'm afraid I did.
- Ricky Raydor: You dumped Harry, Sam, Franklin, Scotty, and Twinkle in the trash?
- Emily Raydor: Ha-ha-ha.
- Rusty Beck: You named the elves?
- Ricky Raydor: Mom, these are not just pinecones with hats. These are part of my childhood. Eh-eh, they're a Christmas tradition.
- Sharon Raydor: Well, this Christmas we can make some new traditions. The four of us, a new family.
- Sharon Raydor: So until we get word from Border Patrol or Amtrak on Lydia's whereabouts, we are... stuck.
- [seeing Kevin, Ms. Jordan's son]
- Sharon Raydor: Before we throw in the towel though, we're gonna have a little chat with Kevin.
- Roland Jennings: If the police have just accurately described what happened, you have two choices: One of them is death row and the other isn't.
- Melanie Jordan: And you're on my side?
- Roland Jennings: I'm trying to think of an alternative explanation for a dead woman under your bed in a cello case. It's not coming, and this deal will go away.
- Louie Provenza: Tick-tock, Ms. Jordan. Tick-tock.
- Melanie Jordan: Oh, God. How many times did we go over the plan? There was never supposed to be a gun. That was completely unnecessary. If they had just done what I told them...
- Sharon Raydor: That why you strangled Lydia, because she disobeyed you?
- Melanie Jordan: Lydia had a complete meltdown. She wanted to turn us both in. She fought with me, and I fought her back, but not... not just for me. You understand this: What I did to Lydia, I did that for my son, and what I did for my son, I did that for the world.
- Roland Jennings: [pause] You said life.
- Louie Provenza: Life. It's good for the world too.
- Mike Tao: Lieutenant, nice hat.
- Louie Provenza: Well, I... was gonna wear the whole suit, but Patrice wouldn't let me.
- Patrice Perry: I was afraid he might get shot.
- Buzz Watson: You can't think of anything that will remove this color?
- Dr. Morales: I'm sorry. It'll wear off in a few days.
- Buzz Watson: A few...
- Dr. Morales: Hey, at least the green is seasonal.
- [last lines]
- Ricky Raydor: It's okay, little brother.
- Louie Provenza: Happy holidays!
- Ricky Raydor: What Mom doesn't know won't hurt her.
- Rusty Beck: I hope you're right.
- Sharon Raydor: Sorry. I have two dead Santas in the morgue.
- Emily Raydor: There's a new tradition for you.