- Jess helps Schmidt and Nick pitch their new business venture to entrepreneur Lori Greiner. Meanwhile, Winston and Coach decide they will invest in Cece's future.
- Schnick Industries, 15 years ago
Nick (in a baja) and fat Schmidt brainstorm. Nick suggests a computer that fits in your hand and has a camera for self pictures.
Schnick Industries, present day
Nick and Schmidt present the prototype of their brainstorm to the gang in the loft: the "swuit" -- a suit made entirely of sweat suit material. They have a meeting with Laurie from QVC in four days. The swuit does not go over well, they need a new idea.
The next day at breakfast, Schmidt demands one good idea from Nick every 20 seconds. They end up clashing over who's the boss and storming off. Jess thinks they're comparing who has the bigger "you know what" and asks Winston what to do about it. He jokingly suggests that they get rid of their you know whats and it gives Jess an idea.
At the bar, Kai asks Nick if he wants to have Ninja Turtle sex later (sex with backpacks on), but he can't because he has to come up with an idea. Cece is trying to drum up tips for her tuition, which is due Friday. Winston offers her money and ropes Coach into it, then celebrates a "Classic Winston and Coach Mess Around."
Later at the loft, Jess talks to Nick and Schmidt separately and tells each of them that they're the boss and the other is having man problems.
"Are we talking clog or leak?" Nick asks.
"He's got the wet Tuesdays?" Schmidt asks. "Did the squirrels get to the tulip bulbs?"
She tells them both to let the other think they're the boss.
At the bar, Coach and Winston tell Cece they're going to invest in her future and she can pay them back three years after she graduates with 10% interest. They made the check out to "Cece." They don't know her full name.
Later at the loft, Nick and Schmidt fall over each other complimenting the other. They came up with a dog treat attachment for a camera to make a pet look when you're taking their picture. But eventually in their talking they realize the other thinks they have man problems. Nick was picturing something hanging and Schmidt was picturing something gooey. "I've had gooey, gooey's not the worst. Simply ignore it," Nick says.
They realize what Jess has done and start yelling and bickering and vowing to ignore the other, except for their "bedtime chat" when they lay in bed together and review the day.
The next day in the QVC lobby, Nick realizes he forgot the prototype. Jess sees it at home and drives it to them, but when a driver cuts her off, she spills her coffee all over herself. She sees the swuit in the back seat.
Winston and Coach drop in on Cece in a lecture and are horrified she's taking Post-War British Art History. "That's just a bunch of words that mean 'Screw You Investors,'" Winston says. She's also taking Intro to Afrikaans and Astronomy 101.
The professor insists there's money in Art History -- he made almost $22,000 last year and his life is very hard. Winston suggests hotel management instead.
Nick and Schmidt fumble through their pitch meeting, barely coming up with words. Jess interrupts with the prototype, wearing the swuit. She gives it her best shot, but concludes with "Don't settle for substitutes, swettle for swubstitwutes."
Back at the loft, Nick and Schmidt settle their rejection. QVC has a product called the scrut, a combination scrubs and suit developed for prison weddings, and they got $10,000 to kill the suit. Kai wants to know if Nick is free yet to do nothing, but Nick is ready to get back to work with Schmidt.
When everyone leaves for the bar, Kai asks Nick to stay behind to talk.
At the bar, Coach and Winston apologize to Cece with an Afrikaans dictionary. Nick joins them and announces Kai broke up with him because he's too ambitious and works too hard. They suppress giggles.
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