- Cassandra Cillian: You know that thing where you're watching TV and you subconsciously compute the size of the set based on the height of the actor and the number of steps it takes them to walk the width of them? Like how Nathan Fillion is six foot two and it takes him 43 steps to walk across Serenity so you know the spaceship is 204 feet across?
- Isaac Stone: Why in the hell should I listen to you?
- Jake Stone: Because I'm a genius, pop. I'm a genius. I speak nine different languages, and I can read over a dozen more! I have honorary degrees at universities on four different continents! I'm the first one they call when they discover a new piece of art, and I'm the one they're scared to call, because I'm the best in the world at discovering a fake! And I didn't tell you, because I knew that you'd see anything less than chasing the family business as a betrayal!
- Eve Baird: Still nothing on that locked room in the basement.
- Jenkins: Hmm, yes, I thought for a moment that the large animal room had moved, but...
- Eve Baird: Wait, what? "Large animal room"? Just how large are we talking?
- Jenkins: Oh, I guess Nessie is probably the largest animal down there.
- Eve Baird: When you say "Nessie," you don't mean Loch Ness Monster?
- Jenkins: Colonel Baird, "monster" is such a label.
- Jake Stone: My daddy always taught me if you're gonna fight the devil, you gotta bring him in close.
- Ezekiel Jones: Who's up for movies? I've got "night," "day," "dawn," "land," and "City" of the living dead.
- Cassandra Cillian: [speaking a series of truths to keep a magical door open] ... and any woman who says she hasn't is lying... I have an irrational fear of ravioli... I secretly wish I was Vietnamese... oh! and I hate babies!