- Dr. Spencer Reid: [closing quote] "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" - Albert Einstein
- David Rossi: [opening quote] "It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways" - Buddha
- Derek Morgan: [Phone rings] Hey Baby Girl, what's good?
- Penelope Garcia: Hooray, happy breathing! I wasn't invited! What's the occasion?
- Derek Morgan: I was just having a run with JJ
- Penelope Garcia: Uh, that's boring. See, couldn't you just make something up so satiate my fabulous filthy imagination?
- Derek Morgan: Cut it out
- Detective Spreewell: Why don't we start with him? Eddie Parrish, Tasha Brooks' pimp. He calls himself Sweetness
- Derek Morgan: Oh, come on now, that's Walter Paytons nickname! This is wrong
- David Rossi: So, there's no way that was a mugging?
- Penelope Garcia: No, no! Unless it's some sort, you know, bizarre universe with a square planet, where things are like the exact opposite, totally the same
- Dr. Spencer Reid: [Standing next to Rossi, showing picture] Are you sure? You wanna maybe take another look?
- Working Girl #3: Look, I'm sure baby. I remember all the cute ones, like you. I won't forget you or your friend