The Death of Stalin (2017)
Dermot Crowley: Lazar Kaganovich
Photos
Quotes
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Kaganovich : [Talking to Nikita Khrushchev] How can you run and plot at the same time?
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Kaganovich : All the best doctors are in the gulag or dead.
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Kaganovich : I've had nightmares that made more sense than this.
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Kaganovich : [seeing the priests] I thought we'd banned those freaks.
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Nicolai Bulganin : It's the painting. He's pointing at the painting.
Georgy Malenkov : Hold on. You know what he's saying? He is saying, "I am the lamb."
Kaganovich : Huh?
Georgy Malenkov : "I am the lamb and you, you, my children, have given me life."
Matryona : Yes!
Anastas Mikoyan : Or, the lamb is the people and the milk is socialism.
Georgy Malenkov : Maybe he's the milk.
Anastas Mikoyan : Maybe you're the tit.
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Nikita Khrushchev : What was the name of the - that woman who gave evidence against the doctors?
Georgy Malenkov : Timashuk.
Lavrenti Beria : Yes. She's got everything we require for the situation. The location of all the remaining doctors in the Moscow area, a proven desire to survive and a talent for fellatio.
Anastas Mikoyan : Yeah, right, she gets my vote.
Nicolai Bulganin : Good. Let her find us some doctors.
Anastas Mikoyan : Yeah, and if it goes badly, we pin it all on Lady Suck Suck.
Kaganovich : Then we shoot her.
Georgy Malenkov : You see? We're better as a committee.
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Nikita Khrushchev : He's using you, Georgy! He's using you, and then he's going to kill you! You saw those papers.
Georgy Malenkov : What are you talking about? Jesus, Nicky, he was pointing at you, he wasn't pointing at me.
Nikita Khrushchev : No, no, he said...
[twirls his finger]
Nikita Khrushchev : "all of you."
Georgy Malenkov : No, no, I was over there, and he went...
[twirls his finger]
Georgy Malenkov : "all of *you*".
Nikita Khrushchev : Yeah!
[twirls his finger]
Nikita Khrushchev : "*All* of you."
Georgy Malenkov : No, no.
[twirls his finger]
Georgy Malenkov : "All of *you*."
Lazar Kaganovich : No, he said...
[twirls his finger]
Lazar Kaganovich : "*all* of you."
Georgy Malenkov : [twirls his finger] You know, all of you...
[bends over and points]
Georgy Malenkov : Can kiss my Russian ass! All of you!
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[last lines]
Nikita Khrushchev : I'm worried about Malenkov, though. Can we trust him?
Kaganovich : Can you ever trust a weak man?
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[Zhukov punches Beria]
Georgy Zhukov : Want a job done properly, you call the army. Take his belt off. It's hard to run away with your pants falling down.
Nikita Khrushchev : [to Malenkov] If you want to talk to General Zhukov, now's your opportunity.
Georgy Zhukov : Spit it out, Georgy. Staging a coup here.
Georgy Malenkov : ...He's got a knife by his ankle.
Lavrenti Beria : You're a disgrace!
Lazar Kaganovich : Give his head a good kicking. Make you feel better.
Vyacheslav Molotov : All in good time.
Lavrenti Beria : Oh, I'm gonna enjoy peeling the skin from your self-satisfied face.
Georgy Zhukov : [holds up the little knife and scoffs] Not with that, you won't.
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[during Stalin's autopsy, Kaganovich notices a pieces of equipment in the barn]
Lazar Kaganovich : Who organized the Wurlitzer?
Dr. Lukomsky : It's a respirator.
Lazar Kaganovich : Did you use it?
Dr. Lukomsky : No... it's American.
Nikita Khrushchev , Lazar Kaganovich : It's *what*?
Stalin's Doctor : [points to Lukomsky] It's from his hospital
Dr. Lukomsky : [points to Stalin's doctor] It was his idea.
Nikita Khrushchev : All right, let's just pretend the last six sentences never happened.
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Kaganovich : Who's gonna carry the can for this farrago of shit?
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Kaganovich : Out of my way you fannies!