Dana Vespoli's Real Sex Diary
- Video
- 2014
- 2h 31m
YOUR RATING
Storyline
Did you know
- ConnectionsFollowed by Dana Vespoli's Real Sex Diary 2 (2015)
Featured review
Really poor
While still a huge fan of Dana Vespoli's creative story-line Adult erotica, I despair for her other career, churning out self-indulgent slop for John Stagliano's porn label. Instead of making it real, this series is pathetically phony, playing like sloppy seconds rather than an artistic piece of craftsmanship.
Why Dana wants to emulate the crude, rough approach of amateur sex tapes is anyone's guess. Perhaps it is a deluded emulation of that old "Blair Witch Project" syndrome that bamboozled so many millions of horror fans into believing that anti- professionalism = realism. Lars von Trier and friends did a similar scam on pseudo-intellectual buffs with their deluded "Dogme" projects. The artifice of this "Sex Diary" is so obvious I wonder how it escaped its author's attention.
Making it even harder for me to watch this overlong first edition is Dana's choice of James Deen as her co-star and amanuensis. They chat in his mansion (ill-gotten gains of thousands of porn assignments over the past decade) and what he has to say is consistently moronic. Donald Trump's spontaneous b.s. sounds like words of wisdom compared to Deen's infantile patter.
Dana is no better -she prattles on about her sexual fetishes ad nauseum, making it seem that she is a sex-obsessed pervert. The low point is surprisingly NOT her insipid discussion of a mutual interest in necrophilia with Deen, prompting Dana to logically wonder what she can perform without getting arrested. Where is the keen intelligence that shines through in her excellent and often ground-breaking fiction films, still ongoing but alternating with Evil Angel crap like this? Apparently studio honcho Johnny Stag will let her hand in any old footage, along as it is butt-centric (his fetish), which "Sex Diary" is.
She cajoles James to deposit a cream pie in her butt, which he duly performs, and all's right in this parallel world. But the sloppy editing and lack of any sort of structure to this video diary is alarming. At the drop of a verbal reference we are treated to recycled shots of some prior Dana exploit, like a d.p. with 2 dildos she performs on Adriana Chechik.
Chechik replaces Deen center-stage for an alarmingly stupid lengthy segment in which that giggly superstar sort of has a conversation with Dana. But Dana keeps looking off into space as she yammers about her various perversions, notably her "medical fetish" -demonstrated in her "inqusitive" examination of co-stars' holes and fondness for using a speculum and other instruments well-known to particularly far-gone fans of BDSM and fetish videos. This also explains her reliance on gaping in many of her videos.
Finishing off this anti-erotic exercise is a poor "normal" session with Tyler Nixon, who Dana raves about earlier in chatting with Deen, infatuated with his relative innocence (compared with "old" or at least seasoned pervs like themselves). Poor sound recording is par for the course in her chatting on a terrace overlooking the beach & surf with Tyler, prior to servicing him indoors. She wishes he would give her an anal cream pie, but repeatedly admonishes that it's not permitted, contradicting what we've just seen with her and Deen. From this I inferred that the Nixon scenes were old footage recorded on Dana's cell-phone camera, released here as evidence that being a pack-rat can be profitable.
The Deen scenes are shot from different angles and an obvious unseen camera crew, contradicting the stated premise of this supposedly off-the-cuff video. Dana is simulating crude sex tapes: pros imitating amateurs for fun and profit. The Nixon footage is shown from a distant static camera position -more authentic and more tedious.
Stupid time-waster ends with Dana having Deen deposit his spunk in her coffee cup for her to drink -she loves it. Just another fetish in search of a sycophantic audience.
My advice to Dana: try watching an episode or two of Steve Allen's "Meeting of Minds" series he shot for PBS 3 decades ago. This is the one where Steve, his wife Jayne Meadows and talented actors pretended to be legendary historical figures ranging from Einstein to Cleopatra, and sat around in a talk-show format discussing weighty topics. It was scripted and consistently fascinating and thought-provoking. Even with only porno people at her disposal, the creative mind of Vespoli could conjure up some challenging and enlightening SCRIPTED conversations in future, rather than another 50 editions of this drivel.
The old saw about playing tennis with someone better than you are in order to improve applies here. As a spectator I feel precious IQ points draining away when I watch idiots chat as they do for much of "Sex Diary" -the sex takes care of itself as mechanical porn, performed for the camera, not realistically at all. Great filmmakers including those in the Adult field (Damiano, PT, John Lesle, Weston) can uplift the viewer, as oxymoronic as that might sound to the uninitiated. Dragging us down as Dana does in these mindless exercises is redundant in a field already won over by brain-dead gonzo purveyors.
Why Dana wants to emulate the crude, rough approach of amateur sex tapes is anyone's guess. Perhaps it is a deluded emulation of that old "Blair Witch Project" syndrome that bamboozled so many millions of horror fans into believing that anti- professionalism = realism. Lars von Trier and friends did a similar scam on pseudo-intellectual buffs with their deluded "Dogme" projects. The artifice of this "Sex Diary" is so obvious I wonder how it escaped its author's attention.
Making it even harder for me to watch this overlong first edition is Dana's choice of James Deen as her co-star and amanuensis. They chat in his mansion (ill-gotten gains of thousands of porn assignments over the past decade) and what he has to say is consistently moronic. Donald Trump's spontaneous b.s. sounds like words of wisdom compared to Deen's infantile patter.
Dana is no better -she prattles on about her sexual fetishes ad nauseum, making it seem that she is a sex-obsessed pervert. The low point is surprisingly NOT her insipid discussion of a mutual interest in necrophilia with Deen, prompting Dana to logically wonder what she can perform without getting arrested. Where is the keen intelligence that shines through in her excellent and often ground-breaking fiction films, still ongoing but alternating with Evil Angel crap like this? Apparently studio honcho Johnny Stag will let her hand in any old footage, along as it is butt-centric (his fetish), which "Sex Diary" is.
She cajoles James to deposit a cream pie in her butt, which he duly performs, and all's right in this parallel world. But the sloppy editing and lack of any sort of structure to this video diary is alarming. At the drop of a verbal reference we are treated to recycled shots of some prior Dana exploit, like a d.p. with 2 dildos she performs on Adriana Chechik.
Chechik replaces Deen center-stage for an alarmingly stupid lengthy segment in which that giggly superstar sort of has a conversation with Dana. But Dana keeps looking off into space as she yammers about her various perversions, notably her "medical fetish" -demonstrated in her "inqusitive" examination of co-stars' holes and fondness for using a speculum and other instruments well-known to particularly far-gone fans of BDSM and fetish videos. This also explains her reliance on gaping in many of her videos.
Finishing off this anti-erotic exercise is a poor "normal" session with Tyler Nixon, who Dana raves about earlier in chatting with Deen, infatuated with his relative innocence (compared with "old" or at least seasoned pervs like themselves). Poor sound recording is par for the course in her chatting on a terrace overlooking the beach & surf with Tyler, prior to servicing him indoors. She wishes he would give her an anal cream pie, but repeatedly admonishes that it's not permitted, contradicting what we've just seen with her and Deen. From this I inferred that the Nixon scenes were old footage recorded on Dana's cell-phone camera, released here as evidence that being a pack-rat can be profitable.
The Deen scenes are shot from different angles and an obvious unseen camera crew, contradicting the stated premise of this supposedly off-the-cuff video. Dana is simulating crude sex tapes: pros imitating amateurs for fun and profit. The Nixon footage is shown from a distant static camera position -more authentic and more tedious.
Stupid time-waster ends with Dana having Deen deposit his spunk in her coffee cup for her to drink -she loves it. Just another fetish in search of a sycophantic audience.
My advice to Dana: try watching an episode or two of Steve Allen's "Meeting of Minds" series he shot for PBS 3 decades ago. This is the one where Steve, his wife Jayne Meadows and talented actors pretended to be legendary historical figures ranging from Einstein to Cleopatra, and sat around in a talk-show format discussing weighty topics. It was scripted and consistently fascinating and thought-provoking. Even with only porno people at her disposal, the creative mind of Vespoli could conjure up some challenging and enlightening SCRIPTED conversations in future, rather than another 50 editions of this drivel.
The old saw about playing tennis with someone better than you are in order to improve applies here. As a spectator I feel precious IQ points draining away when I watch idiots chat as they do for much of "Sex Diary" -the sex takes care of itself as mechanical porn, performed for the camera, not realistically at all. Great filmmakers including those in the Adult field (Damiano, PT, John Lesle, Weston) can uplift the viewer, as oxymoronic as that might sound to the uninitiated. Dragging us down as Dana does in these mindless exercises is redundant in a field already won over by brain-dead gonzo purveyors.
helpful•00
- lor_
- Aug 4, 2016
Details
- Runtime2 hours 31 minutes
- Color
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