- Boris Badenov: This is map showing the lost treasure of Monte Zoom.
- Natasha Fatale: You mean Montezuma, old Aztec Indian?
- Boris Badenov: No. Monte Zoom, the big race car driver.
- Natasha Fatale: Was he rich?
- Boris Badenov: Was he rich? Just ask me.
- Natasha Fatale: Okay. Was he rich?
- Boris Badenov: Rich enough to bury a treasure at the bottom of this lake, that's all, honey bun.
- Natasha Fatale: Yeah, but how do we get it?
- Boris Badenov: Easy. We blow up the dam and let the water run out.
- Natasha Fatale: But if we blow up dam, water will rush down on innocent people in Frostbite Falls.
- Boris Badenov: [laughs] True, true.
- Natasha Fatale: Oh, Boris, you are mean, sneaky no-goodnik.
- Boris Badenov: I know. Mr. Wonderful, that's I!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: [while bird watching] Put down one crow, Bullwinkle.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: [starts writing] One crow.
- Crow: You spell that with a C, friend.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Oh, thanks.
- Crow: No E on the end.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Get out of here, ya smart aleck crow!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Bullwinkle, that's one of our little feathered friends.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Friends, my eye! I joined the club to watch 'em. I don't have to like 'em!
- Narrator: Minnesota, in the lower regions of the high country. In the middle of Lake Salle du Bain, Boris Badenov and his partner, Natasha, were enjoying the tranquility of unspoiled nature, the warm sunshine, the fresh air.
- [Boris coughs heavily]
- Natasha Fatale: Boris, why you're coughing?
- Boris Badenov: I'm used to breathing good old city smug, Natasha. This fresh air is killing me!
- Narrator: And although our hero, Bullwinkle, spotted the villains while bird watching, he refused to go after them.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Never!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: But this is more important than bird watching, Bullwinkle. If they blow up the dam, think of what'll happen to all those poor people in Frostbite Falls.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Those poor people will get mighty soggy.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Well, let's go!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Not so fast, Rock. We're the heroes, remember?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: So?
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: So the heroes always arrive in the "ta-da" nick of time. I don't want to show up early and spoil the suspense.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: And I don't want to show up late and get blown up.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Uh, you got a point there. Heck with the suspense! Let's go!
- [Boris tries to fire his squirrel gun, but only a flag with the word "BANG" comes out]
- Boris Badenov: What's that?
- Natasha Fatale: Boris, we forgot. There's no violence allowed on television anymore.
- Narrator: And Bullwinkle began pulling on the chain which would pull the plug, which would empty the lake, which would uncover the treasure, which would...
- Boris Badenov: Mister, you got a bad case of "which woulds" there.
- Narrator: Ahem. I know.