The Muppets. (TV Series)

Generally Inhospitable (2016)

Steve Whitmire: Kermit the Frog, Statler, Rizzo the Rat, Newsman, Beaker

Quotes 

• Kermit the Frog : I've been through injuries with Piggy before. For someone who loves attention, she's weirdly averse to medical attention.

• Kermit the Frog : I'm trying to get you fixed up and back to the show befo...

  [realizing his mistake, Kermit stops talking] 

  Miss Piggy : Before what?

  Uncle Deadly : Oh, before Pache brings in that DJ to guest host.

  Miss Piggy : Guest host? Uh-uh! No!

  Kermit the Frog : Deadly!

  Uncle Deadly : You didn't tell her?

  Kermit the Frog : No, I didn't tell her.

  Uncle Deadly : What is your job, anyway, frog? Senior VP of Avoiding and Omitting?

• Pepe the King Prawn : We promised Kermit that we would not let Pancho futz with the show.

  Rizzo the Rat : Yeah.

  Pepe the King Prawn : Right there, that's futzing.

  Rizzo the Rat : Yeah.

  Yolanda : Yes, it is.

  Rizzo the Rat : Oh, we gotta get his phone. Anybody got, like, an oversized magnet? 'Cause I could hold it, I could walk by Pache, and all of his piercings would come flying out. That would get his attention.

  Pepe the King Prawn : I'm getting so anxious. I'm sweating in all of my pits.

• Kermit the Frog : So, I just got off the phone with the network, and no matter what I said, they won't air a rerun.

  Miss Piggy : Oh, so they decided to go with my idea of a slideshow of Miss Piggy hairstyles through the decades, hmm?

  Kermit the Frog : Uh, well... look, Piggy, I'm just gonna be straight with you, okay? And, uh, you'll probably get really, really mad and throw stuff, so I... I'm just gonna do it from over here. Um... they're gonna go ahead and use Pache's DJ guest host.

  Miss Piggy : [picking up a box of tissues]  This is a nightmare!

  Kermit the Frog : AHH!

  [he cowers behind a chair] 

  Kermit the Frog : I know, I know.

  [pause] 

  Kermit the Frog : How come there's no box of tissues hitting the blinds?

• Scooter : All right, I got everything here we need to manage the segment. Oh, and Fozzie's all set up back at the studio.

  Kermit the Frog : Oh, good. You know something, Scooter? I think this is really gonna be a great show.

  Scooter : Wait a minute. I'm getting feedback. Man, Piggy's monitor is making a lot of noise.

  Kermit the Frog : Huh.

  Miss Piggy : Oh, I'll call the nurse. I think it's this one.

  Kermit the Frog : [she presses a button near her bed]  Wait, Piggy, no, no, no. That's not the call button.

  Miss Piggy : Yes, it is.

  Kermit the Frog : No, that's your morphine drip!

  Miss Piggy : Uh-oh.

• [Miss Piggy has broken her leg and the execs are planning to have a guest host to replace her] 

  Kermit the Frog : You know, i-i-it's only one show.

  Miss Piggy : It's more than that. Kermie, I grew up on a farm. When one of us broke a leg, they were taken away and never came back!

  Kermit the Frog : Ooh...

  Miss Piggy : My mom would tell me not to be sad, that I would see them again. Well, I did... in the butcher shop window, at a Cuban barbecue, at a treat bin at the pet store.

  Kermit the Frog : Oh, Piggy. That-that's so... gross!