- Principal Lewis: [sees Liqour bottles in the hallway, set up by Steve to frame Roger] Oh, God, did I slip up? Wait a minute. Vodka? Whiskey? These aren't mine. I'm a rum man. But let's see who did slip up... Hmm.
- [finds bottle of Rum on the ground]
- Principal Lewis: Ahh! Yeah!
- [sips, slams bottle on floor, shattering it]
- Principal Lewis: *Rum'*s the only thing that gets *my* engine going!
- [imitates vehicle]
- Principal Lewis: Rum! Rum-rum-Rum-Rum-Rum-Rum-Rum! Rum! Rum-rum-Rum-Rum-Rum-Rum-Rum! Rum! Rum-rum-Rum-Rum-Rum!
- [imitates brakes screeching when he reaches Roger's classroom]
- Principal Lewis: Oh, this is bad. Looks like Harvard's got a habit.
- [rifles through drawer finding another rum bottle]
- Principal Lewis: Jackpot! Hmm. We can't have a drunk teacher around here.
- [swigs]
- Principal Lewis: But a perfectly buzzed principal's good for *everybody*!